inTOXiCATiON
by Katraa
Summary: [AU] Minute by minute, day by day, Riku Karada was losing his sanity and his life. Nothing seemed real anymore, and he was losing the only person who actually cared. And it had all started with those two simple pills, and one stranger. [riku × sora]
1. overdose

**inTOX!CAT!ON  
**x ♥ x  
_katraa

* * *

_

It was quiet. An unsettling and disquieting sort of silence. Wind gusted against the tan side of the expansive house, creating a repetitive striking sound. The transparent moonlight danced on the window panes, creating small shadows as it did such. The dark was light's shadow, after all, and it was befitting that the shadows cast themselves inside the house as the light remained outside. As protection, a barrier to keep the dark within. Aside from the translucent light from outside and the dark within, a melody arose from the silence. It sounded like that of an instrument, hit accordingly to make a melodious song emit. Keys. That was what was being hit. Keys of a piano, no doubt. The C chord chimed out into the silence before several other notes were hit, accompanying the harmony.

Sea green hues remained fixated on the ivory white keys beneath his nimble fingers that he was striking with such precision. Strands of silver fell elegantly down onto the swarthy face it covered, tickling the sensitive skin as it did such. Lips were twisted into a relaxed and unperturbed expression. Black sleeves came up to the male's wrists, gently reaching up to the exposure of his hand, brushing against the ivory keys beneath as it did such. Said black sleeves belonged to the black jacket he wore over a grey shirt, along with blue jeans. Casual wear, it was, nothing more and nothing less than casual wear.

Eyebrows rose in contemplation as fingers ceased their playing briefly. The melodic sound at once abruptly stopped also. A sigh surfaced from the tall teen's lips, falling into the stale air around him. The male's hand rose from the instrument he played. Said hand rose upward to rub his temples vigorously. It could be safe to say that the tall, silver-haired seen was suffering from a headache. Not being able to stand the throbbing any longer, the male arose from his seat at the piano. Socked feet hit the cold floor beneath him, producing a chilly feeling upon contact. Tired eyelids hovered over the fierce green eyes within the male's skull, as an evident sign of anguish.

Feet tread upon the cold wooden floor, sliding their way over to the exit; the door. Once there, the man gave quick flick of his wrist to the metal doorknob, resulting in the door pushing outward in an opening motion. Another yawn escaped the teen's lips as he made his descent down the hallway to the fifth door on the right. Upon arrival, the teen pushed the cracked door in, giving way to a large bathroom that obediently turned its lights on when someone entered. The bright light made the teen wince with an incoherent grumble.

The large bathroom was mostly outfitted in white ornate things, making it an eye-sore for those that loved vehement rooms. And tonight the light seemed to intensity on the white walls, making the teen hiss with discontent. Relentlessly, he extended his hand up to the mirror-medicine cabinet. The male opened it with ease and reached for an orange vial dubbed 'aspirin'. The teen took one out, placing the vial back where he found it, and continued to fill a cup of water to take with the pinkish-toned pill.

And one turned into two, which turned to five, which resulted in a dozen. Instant over-dose. The perfect excuse, the perfect accident. Not for death, but for a brief hiatus. And that was what the _other_ was aiming for, for this innocent male.

- - - -

"Sora. Sora, guess what!"

Fatigued blue eyes glanced to the right, noticing an over-excited brunette girl bouncing beside him. Her neatly fixed pigtails bobbed back and forth, up and down as she jovially yanked at his arm. He had not gotten much sleep the night before, and thus was nullified to any reflexes and intelligent responses. Instead, the brunette boy stared questioningly at the girl, hoping she would read his body language and continue, as well as let go of her death grip on his arm. The girl complied, releasing her grip with ease. Her bright blue eyes stared down at equally deep azul eyes, before opening her mouth to rant on once more, this time a bit more informative.

"Did you know that Riku is in the _hospital_?"

Her voice dragged out the last word, making it quite annoying and lengthy. Sora, the brunette boy, gawked at the female, lips falling down into a grimace. The pain he had endured the night before began to flood once more into his veins. It flowed in his blood, striking every part of his body with a sharp, searing feeling, making him cringe from the pain. And all he could do was weakly nod at the girl, praying and begging with his eyes for her to drop the subject. He was not one for tragedies, and knew that he would never be.

"He over-dosed. I would have never thought _Riku_ to do something like that!"

Her words were like venomous needles, injecting more pain into his bloodstream. Blue hues filled with sorrow and ache, trying his best not to break down right there. He was not strong enough to deal with the painful reality that his best friend had purposely over-dosed and tried to kill himself. Sora just was not cut out to handle something like it, it took too large of a toll on his jovial personality, making him a lifeless puppet. And now he just wanted her to shut her mouth, just this once, so he could sit her and wallow in his own anguish. It was his way of dealing with the reality.

"I _heard_ that he is supposed to be out in a few days. But he'll need to go through counseling! Oh, Sora! Who would have thought!?"

She was being over-dramatic on purpose, Sora just knew. She overemphasized everything, whether it be bad, tragic, sad, exciting, good, or anything else in between. Selphie was just the drama queen, and that would never change. But right now, Sora wished there was a way to change that. Sora let his chin slide into the warmth of his palms, trying his best to forget the pain that was driving him insane. It was drilling a whole through his sanity, and he was not sure how long he could handle it. He needed to be by himself. Or perhaps actually go see Riku and visually see that his best friend since, ever, was all right and not dead due to something that _stupid_.

"Please… Selphie, can you just leave me alone for a bit?... I just need some time by myself." Sora attempted meekly, blue eyes gazing up at the yellow-cladded brunette, hoping she would sympathize with him. Sora was not sure if what he inquired was too much to ask for, but deep-down he hoped it was not.

He just never saw Riku as that kind of person. Never. Riku was rich, popular, everything. Riku would never want to kill himself. And what could he possibly want to kill himself over? Sora's stomach began to do flip-flops once more as he tightly shut his eyes to halt the progression of salty tears that desired to fall. Boys were not supposed to cry, no matter how weak they were. And Sora was going to stand by that saying no matter what. He wanted Selphie to go away so he would not let her see his tears.

"Oh, right." Selphie nodded, understanding by a stroke of luck. Her bouncy brown pigtails swished to the right as she turned her head back to Sora. "I'm going to go find Kairi. I want to see how she's doing. I mean, she did have the biggest crush on Riku." Selphie chimed and then bounced off, leaving Sora with another brutal blow to his sanity.

He already had known Kairi liked Riku, not him, but for someone to state it so bluntly and nonchalantly made him feel worse. No one ever liked him, and Riku was the only person that ever hugged him and was there for him other than his parents. Riku was the only person he could rely on, like a brother, and now that person was in the hospital. His hero, his idol, the person he looked up to, was in the hospital for _overdosing_. And it made him feel down-right horrible.

Realizing that Selphie had indeed left, Sora weakly swung himself off the park bench he had been sitting on for the past twenty minutes. Shoes hit the pavement of the park beneath him, echoing softly into the afternoon air. Questions rang through his mind freely. He had no control of his thoughts right now, and all he wanted was some time to make them go away. He wanted Riku back.

Did it hurt? To have over-dosed? Did his heart beat erratically? Did he feel any pain? Did he even _think_ of him when he was trying to _kill himself_? Sora pouted at the trivial questions, letting his small hands fall over his eyes. He just could not take it. He had to cry. Crying would make everything better. He would get through this, and go back to _being_ Sora. But right now he wanted to be someone else. He wanted to be that little boy who was allowed to cry when something happened that made you feel sad.

By now Sora had made his way out of the luscious green park, and down the crowded street of Twilight Town. He was headed home. Home to sleep some and perhaps look up the hospital's number to give Riku a call. That would help, surely it would. A small sigh passed Sora's chapped lips as he solemnly walked home, making sure not to bump into anyone as he made his way through the mazes of streets. And it took him around ten minutes to actually arrive at his doorstep on a side street.

And when he opened the door, expecting an empty house seeing his mother had to work over-time today down at the bank, and his father had to work the mechanic shop, he was quite surprised to see a familiar figure slumped on his coach, flipping through the channels of his television in boredom.

- - - -

"R-riku?!"

Sora's stammer was more of a distressful yell. Blue eyes clouded with held back tears as he stood there lifelessly at his front door, having closed it seconds before. This was not real. Was he going insane now, too? The brunette's body began to shake as emerald eyes turned in his direction, glancing at Sora innocently. Lips of Riku contorted into a smirk before his angelic body arose from its placement on the coach. Riku made his way over to the brunette, cocking his head to the side in inquiry before arms devilishly slid around his girlish waist.

And this was not Riku. Sora did not know it, but this was not Riku. It was not his imagination either. This was not Riku, nor his ghost, nor his spirit, or his soul. This was something else. This was a look-a-like… a clone. Something of that science fiction thing. Right now it would not make sense to Sora. Right now Riku was real, and the arms around his waist made his body feel like it was burning. When in fact, this was not Riku, this was Nisemono.

The whole thing was too complicated to explain in words, and it was safe just to say that he was created for the sole-purpose of destroying his 'true' form's life. The whole purpose was to get everyone to hate him, make them forget he even existed, and if he was there to impersonate him, it would work out wonderfully. Right now it sounded complex, insane, and hard to understand, but as time progressed it would clarify and the darkness would leak through.

"Hey, Sora."

There was an initial pause, as if he was trying to reach for the other's name. Which in all honesty he was. This boy, this boy was the teen's best friend, right? Sora. Green eyes, which were a shade darker than the real's, stared down into the clouded blue ones. He was crying. Right, he was supposed to be in the hospital for over-dosing. Oh the irony and cruelty of the truth.

"R-riku.. w-what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the hospital! Y-you.. why did you do something that _stupid_!" It came out in a cracked sob as Sora's weak arms wrapped around 'Riku's' body, encircling him in a hug. Nisemono could only smirk at the boy in his arms, weeping and expressing his heart to what he thought was his best friend, when his best friend lay in a hospital bed.

"Mmm. They let me out early. They figured out that I didn't over-dose. The pills I took were rejects and contained too strong of a dose. I only took two, like prescribed." Green eyes shimmered with the lie, but faked honesty. "Don't cry over me, geez." And his voice was filled with more malice than his real self. He was far more abrasive, cruel, and aggressive, but that was something the boy did not need to know, and probably would not pick up on.

He was tricking, manipulating, and seducing him, _after all_.

"Riku." Sora repeated once more, sobbing uncontrobabbly at this point. Fingers nervously began to twirl strands of Nisemono's silvery hair upon themselves. "Please… don't ever do that _again_." The words were hard to understand, but Nisemono caught them with ease.

"Don't worry. I'm not going _anywhere_."

And if Sora would have caught onto the lingering and emphasized last word, and the hidden dark smirk upon the other, he would have realized this was not his best friend at all. And perhaps he would have realized that friendship was not what would last long. Something else… something quite different was about to take place, whether he liked it or not.

And it all would make sense. Soon. Soon everything would be made clear, and the real fun will begin.

* * *

_**author's note:**_

pairings: riku x sora , some riku x namine, onesided kairi x sora and riku x kairi  
**warnings:** language, suggestive themes, dark themes, yaoi, yaoi, yaoi.

**_nisemono is riku's clone from chain of memories, if you were confused. the pro. was made to be confusing and slightly... off. some things will be cleared up next chapter, so hold tight! yes, shoot me for starting a new story. haha._**

**_this story will probably be upgraded to M later on. depends on how dark i want it to be. after all, so far it has been quite... dark. oh well. and yeah, graphic themes might come about. heh. hope you'll stick around to see what happens next. leave a review, pleaseee._**


	2. addiction

**inTOX!CAT!ON**

x ♥ x

_katraa_

* * *

Jade hues slowly opened, allowing light to once more enter. Black pupils darted from the sterile white ceiling to the equally disturbing white of the walls around him. The repetitive beeping from his right made his earlier headache return with a vengeance. The beeping itself sped up, and slowed down in a short time, following the beats of his heart. Green eyes narrowed at the grey machine beside the white sheet bed he lay upon. A heart monitor, that was what the machine was. Numbers glowed on said machine, some in green, some in yellow, and others in other colors Riku did not wish to distinguish at this time. Upon his finger was a piece of cold metal. Green hues averted their befuddled gaze down upon the finger the metal was place upon. He figured that was where they were taking his pulse.

Riku laid flat back down on his bed once more. Eyes stared with much confusion upon at the colorless ceiling in an addled state. Why was he here? He should be hosting a party right now. Or later tonight. The question was, what time of the day was it? He had no windows in the room he was currently in, and therefore had no idea on what time it was. All he did know was that he had the party of the century to host, and he had to get home. He could not leave Sora alone with his so called 'friends'. They would totally murder the poor boy.

Growling to himself, Riku attempted to rise from his bed in an effort to leave the room. However, his effort was ceased once a blonde woman had entered, carrying a clipboard with her. Jade hues darted towards the woman, bearing the same confused expression as before. She had blue eyes, which instantly made him miss Sora's. Her's lacked in comparison to his friend's, and all he could do was scoff at the attempt.

"Riku Karada." She spoke in such an innocent voice that it just had to be fake. "I'm glad you're awake." And she really was not glad at all. They just told her to say that. "We would like to discuss your current," A pause, "situation." And just who were 'we'? All he saw was one inadequate woman who was failing at her job to appear friendly. She was fake, along with what seemed like everyone else in this messed up world.

"Situation?" Riku dared, lowering his gaze to his clipped finger to stare questioningly at it. Had he had a heart attack? Stroke? Gotten intoxicated and into a crash? No, he would never do something that stupid. Eyes returned to the blonde nurse, awaiting his deserved answer.

"Do you know why you are in here?" Her voice contained a sullen undertone that Riku picked up on at once. She was trying to appear friendly to conceal her own pain. And it was amazing how many people did that nowadays, and how easily you could pick up on it. Even on a complete stranger who is forced to play happy just so you keep your spirits up long enough to live.

"No." Riku answered emptily, giving a shrug. "Are you going to tell me? Or am I asking the wrong person?" Riku seethed, arching an eyebrow. He was tired of people pretending to be something they were not. And he was tired of not knowing why he had awaken here, and not in the comfort of his own bed.

The blonde haired woman seated herself at the edge of Riku's bed, resting the clipboard beside her. Vacuous eyes looked intently at him, as if concealing a macabre truth. "You were brought in here last night, midnight to be exact. Your butler found you passed out on the bathroom floor while he was leaving, suffering from a cardiac arrest due to overdosing." She stated it so bluntly with no remorse that it chilled Riku to the core.

At once the silver haired teen's heart stopped. The blood coursing through his veins turned to an icy liquid, making every single part of his body ache. The pain prickled all throughout, making him physically wince. He wanted the pain to go away. Perhaps it was all physiological, or actually there, but he did not care. He would not believe these corrupted lies some fake woman was telling him. Unlike most people, he enjoyed life, respected it, and surely would not try and kill himself. Especially by over-dosing.

"You're mistaken. I would never be that stupid to try and commit suicide." Riku answered darkly, "All I took was two, and that was because I had a headache. Which is why you take medicine to begin with." He spat at the woman, not amused whatsoever with her preposterous accusations against him.

"There was enough drugs in your system to give proof that you took twelve. At minimum." And now she was purposely being vague and unsupportive; showing her real colors. The blue hues he had compared to Sora's turned into their real appearance. They held no remorse, no pity, and definitely no help. All they showed was a brutal, hurt, and broken woman.

"I did not!" Riku snapped, articulating each word with much determination. Sighing with vexation, Riku rose a hand from his side to swipe strands of his hair out of his eyes. "Listen, you're wrong. All I did was take two, okay? There's no problem here, so I would love it if you would take this thing off me and let me go home. I have a party tonight." Riku informed acrimoniously.

"You aren't going anywhere for a couple of days. After that is counseling for several years. Over-dosing is a serious thing." By now she was glancing around with boredom. Verbally fighting had gotten old fast to this woman and now she just wanted to be done with the conversation. She was two-faced, one of the many Riku had encountered so far in his life.

"..." Riku sighed, giving up, even if it was just for now. "Does anyone know?" If anyone found out that he had been accused of over-dosing, he probably would lose his status in school, mostly all of his friends, and more importantly, Sora.

"Only your mother and father." The woman replied, arising from her seat on the bed. "Of course, word of mouth is quite fast." Eyebrows rose in that obvious ominous way.

Riku snarled at her quietly, watching her triumphantly leave the room. As she left, he murmur„red darkly under his breath, "bitch." He figured that once this was all over, his life would be ruined.

All because of a too many pills he had no memory of taken.

- - - - - -

"So you ... didn't try to kill yourself?"

Sora sat quietly on Riku's bed, looking over at Nisemono with interest. The brunette gave off the innocence of a small child waiting to be told a story. Blue hues that Riku had deemed worthy of praise stared nervously over at Nisemono, wondering if Riku really had tried to kill himself. It was quite the pity that Sora did not realize that this was not his friend he was speaking to, but someone who would in the near future thrust his life into turmoil and confusion. But for now, everything seemed all right.

"Why would I kill myself?" Nisemono inquired with a sinister tone that contained sarcasm and no penitence. His dark green eyes looked over at the brunette who was now sprawled out on Riku's bed, looking to the ceiling. The boy was cute, and Nisemono had to give Riku props for befriending such a cute virgin boy. Fingers laced in Nisemono's lap at the edge of the bed.

"I... it's just not everyday that you get rushed to the hospital for something like that. I'm sorry!" Sora answered quickly, cheeks turning pale in fear that his best friend was angry with him. A moment of silence passed throughout the pair before Sora dared to speak once more. "Your party. Are you still having it tonight?"

Nisemono arched an eyebrow at Sora. So Riku had planned a party, how fitting. In the back of his quite malign mind, he wondered if anyone would come if they heard Riku had been rushed to the hospital. Then again, not many people knew. He assumed just that annoying brown-haired girl, that red-head, and Sora knew. Dark green eyes returned to gazing at Sora as he nodded his head.

"Of course." Lips rose into a threatening smirk, unnoticeable to the naked eye.

"Riku..." Sora spoke slowly, letting his hands snag a pillow from the top of Riku's bed. The brunette took it in his arms and gave it a tight squeeze, letting his chin nuzzle the soft exterior with a murmur.

"Yes?" Nisemono yawned at the dull conversation, making his word quick and sharp. He was not one for contrition or cordiality, and therefore relied on snappy comebacks. Unlike Riku, he was quite querulous towards mostly everyone. Everyone including the brunette laying only feet from him.

"Were you scared?" Sora whispered, letting his eyelids fall over his blue eyes.

"Scared?" Unlike how Riku would answer, Nisemono made the question sound more like sarcasm, as if by asking that, Sora was making himself look stupid. Riku, on the other hand, would always fill his questions with curiosity and a slight good humor. This was nothing like that, and Sora blamed it on the incident.

"Scared that you were going to die," Sora mumbled back, feeling a bit odd speaking with Riku today. He seemed different, much more petulant. Afraid of being to verbose, Sora remained silent, eagerly anticipating a honest answer from his childhood friend.

"No."

Something deep down in Sora froze from the blunt and dark answer. Blue eyes slowly cracked open, glimpsing at Nisemono with much inquisitiveness. Small hands tightened their grasp on the pillow he held upon hearing the answer. Brown locks of hair fell delicately in Sora's face, obscuring his vision as he stared at his silver-haired friend. Sora said nothing more, and waited for Nisemono to say something instead.

"You ask too many questions." Nisemono declared viciously, arising to his feet and mutely made his way across the room. Once at the door, Nisemono pushed it open and left, barely signaling for the younger of the pair to follow.

Sora disdainfully followed his friend out of the room, carrying the pillow with him as he went. Nisemono led the two downstairs two flights, into the living room. "What time did I say the party was going to start again?" Nisemono inquired enthusiastically, making his way over to the stereo in the corner of the room.

Sora stood by the entrance to the room, worried that if he said something wrong the other would snap at him once more. "Like... five." Sora answered slowly, eying the clock that read four forty-five with much worry. "Usually you just put music on... and everyone does what they want," He tried to be helpful, but ended up sounding like he thought Nisemono did not know what he was doing.

"I know that." Nisemono snapped, earning a shudder from Sora.

It was not fair, and Sora knew it. The pain Sora suffered was immense when he had learned from Riku's mother that he was in the hospital. It bothered him even more that Riku's parents were on a business trip halfway across the country while their son was left at home in their 'mansion.' Sora knew he was the only one that was there for Riku, and was planning to visit him everyday at the hospital until he got better. And now Riku was back, but different. He was rude, angry, mean, and everything in between. It did not seem fair that Riku could put Sora through such torment and then come back and make shots at his current fragile heart. It hurt more than words could express.

"Right... I'm sorry." Sora mumbled, taking a seat in a chair farthest away from where Nisemono currently was. Music began to flood the room and the house as the silver haired male began to fiddle with the lights, dimming them slightly so they were not so intense. Sora watched half heartedly, wishing he could just go home and sleep his life away. But Riku was his best friend, bad mood or not.

The guests arrived like a mob scene, flooding the house. Bodies quickly began to rock back and forth on the floor, throwing themselves at one another, begging for more than just a dance. The clothes some of them wore disgusted Sora, and made him shyly hide in the corner of the main room. People by this point had already invaded the interior of Riku's house for heaven's knows what. Sora did not want to guess.

It had been twenty minutes since the actual party had started, and countless drunken teenagers were pushing their way through the mob of dancing bodies, trying to find someone or something to cling onto. Sora stood silently in his corner, wondering why he even came, wondering why he even stayed. Perhaps it was that tight choke-hold his friend held on his brittle heart that made him stay. A sigh of self-pity passed Sora's lips as he hugged his arms tightly to his chest, watching people with slight envy.

It was not until five minutes later when a pair of foreign arms had slid around his waist from behind. The brunette's cheeks at once flared a dark red, heart stopping. He could suddenly feel hot breath on his neck, making the hairs on his neck prickle. Sora's mouth felt uncomfortably dry all of a sudden as blue eyes blinked rapidly. Hands brought his body close to whoever was holding him as the hot breath continued. Sora gulped audibly before daringly glimpsing over his shoulder to be met with a familiar pair of green eyes.

"Riku... it's just you." Sora sighed, but somehow was even more frightened and embarrassed by the whole situation. A smirk was evident on the other's lips as he let his hands strum the sides of Sora's waist repeatedly. The blush grew shades darker when he realized how close he was to Riku. It was not his fault that he felt ... things for the boy. He always had. He knew better than anyone that he was slowly falling for his best friend who did not share the same feelings. Everyone knew that Kairi liked Riku, and he liked her back. There was no Sora in the mix, and he had to accept that. But this made his heart flutter.

"What are you doing standing alone in a corner, Sora?" Nisemono inquired, tauntingly letting his lips hover over the uncovered flesh of Sora's neck. The brunette gulped once more, feeling slightly uncomfortable and yet at peace with their current placement. Only in his dreams would Riku come so close, do such things. The blush grew at his own thoughts as he tried to wiggle free of his friend's grasps, only to be pulled tighter to Nisemono's chest.

"I-i just can't dance and figured if I was over here I wouldn't be in anyone's way." Sora stammered quickly, half staring at the dancing crowd and half watching his friend's hands slide around his waist, circling it a few times.

"That's no fun at all," The voice was etched with seduction and a hint of amusement, "Here," Upon saying the word, the silver haired teen had begun to rock his body forward, applying pressure with his hands onto Sora's waist to make the younger teen do the same.

"R-riku..." Sora murmured, body failing as he found himself incapable of forming any words other than his friend's name. Before he even knew what he was doing, he was letting his body move with the music against the other, lulling him into a high.

For just that moment, Sora felt like he actually was someone and not just the brunette boy everyone knew, just never talked to.

"Mmm.." Nisemono breathed heavily into Sora's ear, purposely bucking his hips forward the moment he felt Sora's body sway backwards. The simple motion earned a small gasp from Sora that was drowned by the music. "You can too dance." Nisemono informed, letting his hands trail along the lithe boy's body.

"Riku..." Sora tried once more, too caught up in the music to even care that his friend's hands were running up and down his chest and side, making him blush a fierce red. "R-r-iku seriously I..." He just could not stand this.

"I'm sorry!" Sora finally got out in between a struggled gasp. Sora broke free of Nisemono's grasp, wiggling out of his arms and leaving the warm comfort behind. And he ran as fast as he could towards the front door, and then out it. He could not handle his best friend like this. Especially when he knew that he did not mean it the way Sora wished he did.

- - - - -

Green eyes stared longingly out the window. Outside there was the world he was isolated from. Outside he could actually communicate with real people. Outside was where his life was. Inside, however was the opposite. Inside there was people paid to be friendly, when in entirety most were not. Inside he had no friends who were willing to give up their time to check in on him. Inside he had no life, just the white hospital bed he lay on, and the dull beeping of the clock beside him.

It had been a day. Riku had kept track. Every hour a nurse would come in and check on the second machine in the room. It was a grey machine, large, and had several tubes. One was connected into his bloodstream at his arm. Its purpose was to draw the blood from his body into the machine, remove the excessive amount of drugs, and then return the blood as clean as it was before this whole thing started. Apparently he had been on this for awhile now, and he had just realized it hours before.

The nurse had asked if he wanted to sleep during the procedure, claiming it would seem like it went by faster, and that he would not have to deal with shortness of breath and periodical pain. Riku rejected based on two facts. One being that if he had a cardiac arrest, stroke, or anything of the sort, he wanted to be awake when it happened so he could use his last breath to gasp for help. Two being that if he went to sleep and something went wrong, he would never have a chance to say good bye to anyone.

That was where he was now. Locked in a white room, having nothing to do except listen to the beeping of his heart monitor. Emerald eyes focused dully on his outstretched hands, memorizing the miniscule grooves and lines that composed his fingerprint. There was nothing else better to do, so he just laid there doing such.

Did anyone know of his supposed overdosing? Would people treat him differently when he got back? Would Sora even speak to him? Riku bit his lip painfully at the lingering questions. Every time he thought he got the questions off his mind, they would comeback and give him another pounding head ache. No matter what the doctors say, Riku mused dully as he laid there, I know what happened. I took two. I took two then I blacked out. The truth was there, but n one was willing to believe him. Everybody lies.

Right now, more than ever, did he want some communication with the outside world. Anything would suffice. A picture, a video, a phone call, a visitor, anything to show him that the world outside was still going strong, and that when he returned, everything would be the same. Even, in all honesty, it would never be the same.

Riku extended his hand to the right, reaching for the tan telephone resting on the nightstand. Shaky hands grabbed the phone after several tries, holding it with a firm grasp so it would not fall. Riku brought the phone to his face, dialing in the number to his friend before placing it to his ear. One ring. Two ring. Three ring. Four ring.

"Hey. This is Sora, at 555-5675. I'm not here right now so leave a message and I'll get back to you? Mmkay?" The answering machine's message ended followed by a beep sooner after.

Sora's voice. His best friend's voice. That was all he needed to hear to confirm that the world was still fine outside of these white walls. However his picayune glee soon faded, soon replaced by anger. Sora had not called him, and was not answering his phone, or even came to see him. Was he not worried? Or was he just that mad? The beep cut off Riku's thoughts as he shakily parted his lips to speak.

"Hey, Sora... its me. I was wondering how you were ... I'm really sorry about... well everything. I promise I didn-" He cut himself off and pressed two to delete the message. That sounded far too weak and too corny to be him. Lips dropped into a frown as he pressed one to leave a different message. "Sora. Call me as soon as you can. You have the number." Riku winced, and deleted the message once more. This was pointless.

Riku slammed the phone back onto the receiver. He just gave up, right there. If Sora did not call him, then he would not call the boy. He would not get down on his knees and beg for his friend to call, he had to be strong. Still, it hurt knowing that because of his own pride he was not going to speak to the other for what felt like a million years.

As expected, a round of pain dragged Riku from his dismal thoughts. Trying to bare the pain, Riku gritted his teeth together painfully. The pain was located in his right arm, and he figured the blood flow in that area must have been clotted or something along those lines for the pain to arise. His hand itself of that hand felt slightly numbed. But as soon as the pain came, as strong as it was, it went just as quickly.

Riku exhaled sharply, sweat falling from his forehead. How long would he put up with this? Did people have to go through this kind of pain every day of their lives? This, compared to a messily head ache, was a thousand times worse. He would give anything to be back home with a head ache instead of here, having to endure arbitrary rounds of pain. It seemed unfair.

"Riku Karada."

The voice drew him, once more, out of his wandering thoughts. Sharp, green eyes turned to the entrance of his room. Standing at the threshold was a lanky man, exceeding over six feet easily. Spiky red hair stuck out in all directions, but was gelled back into several spikes. Cat-like green eyes stared across the white room at the silver-haired teen laying in the bed helplessly. The gaunt man, who appeared to be nineteen or so, paced across the room towards Riku, hands laced behind his back.

"..." And it took Riku that long to figure out just who the man was. The question that remained was why was he here? "Axel?" Riku inquired, voice drenched in disbelief and suspicion.

"Glad you remember." The red-haired teenager spoke, snagging a chair from across the room and pulling it beside Riku's bed. Axel sat himself upon the chair, legs resting on either side of it as he leaned his chin into the back of it. Green orbs followed Riku's own eyes, tracing every moment as if to memorize it.

"Why are you here?" Riku further pried, voice emotionless and empty. He had wanted contact with the outside world, but when it came, it felt so dry and useless. It was like this contact paled in comparison to actually being out there. It was a hard concept to understand and explain, and only someone in that situation knew exactly how it felt.

"Your father sent me." Axel clarified, raising a hand to his red spikes, running said hand through them leisurely. "He told me to tell you that he wants you when you return home to give him a call to make sure everything is all right there. He said your butler has the week off, so the house should be locked and the way you left it the other day when you get back." Axel explained with a slight yawn.

"And he sent you all the way here to tell me that?" Riku inquired, lifting an eyebrow in incertitude. Couldn't his father have just called the hospital and requested for his number?

"No. I also came here to tell you that your boyfriend saw me the other day and wanted me to tell you he said hi and that he misses you." Axel smirked as he toyed with a piece of his hair.

"Sora?" Riku questioned hopefully.

"Spiky brown-haired kid? Adorable smile? Virgin?" Axel replied, eyebrows lifting with interest.

"Yeah... him." Riku mumbled and then blinked. "And he's not gay." Riku retorted with a scoff. "Neither am I." A pause. "So never say that again." He narrowed his eyes, a bit offended.

"Geez. Don't go all suicidal on me." A sinister and cruel smirk from Axel as he arose from his seat to his feet. "Oh wait, that's right. You've already gone there." Another smirk as Riku's mouth fell open in disgust, as if to say something. Axel, however, cut him off. "I'll be seeing you around at school. Tell your boyfriend next time you see him that he has a nice ass and he probably won't stay a virgin long." And with that Axel stalked off.

"Fucking ass..." Riku seethed, banging his fist on the bed. Riku sighed, letting the anger seep out of him as he turned his head to stare out the window. How long would it be before he actually got to see the faces he cared so much for?

How long would this torture continue? Would it ... get any worse?

* * *

**_this chapter was a bit longer. the chapters should be about this length, maybe longer and hopefully never shorter. things still may be confusing to you readers, but hopefully they are slowly clearing up. this story will be dark, mind you. please leave a review._**


	3. remedy

**inTOX!CAT!ON**

x ♥ x

_katraa_

* * *

It hurt like hell. It hurt like hell, and none of the doctors could figure out why. The pain traveled up and down his spine, delivering powerful electric shocks as it went. Maybe it was not electricity, but something equal to that strength. Pricks of pain seemed to be scattered throughout his body, making him wince and scrape aggressively at the spot with short fingernails. The overall procedure he had been going through for exactly thirty hours had ended, leaving his blood clean and dug-free. However, his body, the doctors assumed, was having a laborious withdrawal from the excess amount of drugs that had been in his system. Even if they were just painkillers. The withdrawal was causing his heart to beat rapidly, and skip several beats every few minutes. Honestly, he thought he was going to die on that bed, haven been killed by the medicine that was supposed to cure a simple headache. 

The blonde nurse with the fake smile, who only showed her true colors when the time was necessary, was on the side of the bed along with several other doctors and nurses. Each had a different face and a different expression hidden behind a helpful gaze. Riku took the time to memorize each of their faces. He had nothing else better to do, and committing their faces to memory took his mind off the agony he was currently bearing.

The blonde nurse left the bedside quickly, opening a drawer across the room with a key that had been in her jacket. The drawer opened with a soft 'click' that had barely reached Riku's ears. The woman dug her hand carefully into the drawer's contents, surfacing with a needle containing a translucent liquid. She made her way quickly and vigilantly back to the bed, holding the needle securely in her small hands. Once back to the bed, the other nurses and doctors, who did nothing but stare and check his pulses repeatedly, moved aside to the let the blonde through. Within seconds she had hoisted his right arm into the air and stabbed the needle promptly into the area of his forearm. At once, his arm flopped back down against the bed. His heart-monitor, that had been being louder and more annoying than usual, returned to that steady beat that reminded Riku dully of a metronome. After all, a metronome kept a steady beat for musicians, and the heart monitor kept the beating of his heart, showing whether he was to live or die.

Once the translucent, which Riku had guessed was some sort of pain killer, which was quite ironic to begin with, entered his bloodstream, the pain subsided. Green eyes that had been wide with fear and pain soon returned to that hazy, unaware state. His mind was slipping into the dream world, but he remained strong and forced himself to remain awake.

"What did you give him?" A brunette doctor had inquired the blonde as the crowd slowly left his bed side, some leaving the room and the rest to the other side of is room. The blond woman glanced to the man with a rebellious and firm look. She set down the used needle on the counter, ready to dispose of it once the conversation finished. Her lips fell into a frown, blue eyes falling away from the severe look she was getting.

"Something to stop the pain. He was going to die from a heart attack if I didn't do anything." The woman retorted in a slight snap, but managed to catch herself halfway through. Riku guessed that the blonde was speaking to her superior or advisor; she didn't seem like the type to correct her tone mid-sentence to any of her peers.

The brunette man frowned, only for the woman to speak once more, "It wasn't the same thing that landed him here, I'm not that stupid." She passed a glance over to Riku who was laying immobile in the bed, green eyes hazing with uncertainty and wonder. Somehow he knew that they were keeping something from him. This was more than just an overdose. The drugs had done something severe to his body, and now he was just waiting to learn what that was. Or maybe … maybe he was going home soon.

"Naminé, be careful what you do here. You are only an intern. You can always be released from your position here." The man informed hastily before snagging Riku's folder from the end of his beside. The woman give a shrug as she went back to taking a piece of paper from the counter to write down the information of the needle that had been used for 'hospital' records. The other, the brown-haired male, had written down the use of the needle quickly into the folder and then returned in back to its prior position at the end of Riku's bed.

"You're lucky, you know." The man spoke, pacing back over to Riku's side. Jade hues rose to look up at the returning figure. "Usually the people that come in here are all your age. They've all overdosed, and expect to live. Most of them die within twenty four hours of being here. They're body just can't continue with the damage they have inflicted on it. You, you're lucky. However, your body has taken _some_ damage, and you need to remain here for a bit longer." The brunette man placed his hand reassuring on Riku's arm. "You're lucky to be alive. Remember that." And with that he left the room.

"…" Riku said nothing at first, just stared at where the man had left in bewilderment. Emerald hues soon left the door and over to where Naminé stood, writing something down with boredom. Her blue eyes turned to the side, noticing the teen staring at her as if he had something to say.

"What?" She asked, her voice as empty as it usually was. She was done playing the 'nice-nurse' the one that always smiled and always had words of comfort. She only did that when she knew it worked, and for Riku, it only made matters worse. Now all that was left was a broken and emotionless woman who took her job far too seriously even if it was not really her job, but an internship.

"You're an intern?" Riku questioned in a soft whisper, the only thing he was capable of producing at that moment.

Naminé shuffled uncomfortably from where she stood, clicking the pen she was writing with to the off position, letting the tip hide in the barrel of the pen. Her blue eyes, which Riku had said were not like Sora's, had an unusual shimmer to them. They were not like Sora's at all, yes, but they contained something different. They were not as dull as he had earlier perceived, but just different, for the lack of any better words. "Does that bother you?"

"No." Riku stated simply, green eyes watching her with the slightest curiosity. If she was an intern, she must not be that old. Curiosity got the better of him as he parted his lips to speak once more, "How old are you anyhow?"

"Eighteen." She informed, stacking a few papers together and pushing them into a file. She then stored that file in a drawer with hundreds of other files. She turned back around to face the teen, watching him carefully as if she was afraid that within any moment he would lunge at her. "You know, you're pretty stupid." She spoke softly, letting her blonde bangs (which were barely any) fall in her face. "Wasting your life on getting high off pills and all."

"You act like you know everything about life," Riku answered with a rejoinder, "and you're the same age as me. We're not all that different." His green eyes shone with that teenage defiance. "Besides, I didn't decide to do this. This just happened, and I have no idea why. I swear on my life I took two, and that's not going to change. I wouldn't just throw my life away." Not yet, anyways.

"I hate people like you," She muttered softly, more so to herself.

"People like _me_?" Riku questioned, sitting up a bit on his bed, even though it was hard due to the slight numbness coursing through his body.

"People that think they're so better than everyone else because they have a rich family, rich friends, and a great life, and when something _miniscule_ goes wrong, you resort to drastic measures to gain sympathy of others." Her blue eyes narrowed at Riku, her words coming straight from her heart. She no longer appeared fake in his eyes, but someone broken, as he had already assumed, and someone that spoke with only her heart when the time came around.

"I'm not like that. You don't even know me." Riku snapped back, feeling defensive all of a sudden. This was not some pathetic attempt or cry for attention. This was a misunderstanding, and all he wanted to do was go home. Not remain here begging for pity.

"You're all the same." She sighed, turning her head away from him as she began to make her way to the door.

"What happened to you?" The question just blurted out from Riku's lips as he laid there weakly on the bed, glimpsing at the intern, hoping that he would receive an answer. No one was that uptight without a reason. Unless they were just like that, to which Riku really doubted. Underneath it all, buried deep down, the teenager seemed like a nice girl.

"…" She looked at him, as if to say nothing, but instead walked out.

"…what happened to her…" Was all Riku said as he laid his head back down on the pillow, being lulled to sleep by the beeping of the monitor he despised.

-------

Sora had been dreaming again.

Lately he had been having dreams of things that made no sense to him. He would have dreams of his best friend telling him that he hated him for liking him more than he was supposed to, allowed to. Other nights he would have dreams that his parents had died in a deadly car crash. And other nights, he would dream of being killed himself, only this time, he did not know the face, or the name of his killer. Just the empty, soulless eyes that stared at him, lips whispering the last words he would hear before he died.

In the day, when he was awake and full aware of his surroundings, having left the dream world hours before, he was all right. The dreams would leave his mind and he would be fine.

It had been Friday night when Riku had over-dosed, and left Sora's world upside down. It was Sunday, and he was now not speaking to his friend whatsoever. Or at least, he figured that was where he stood with him…. He had run out on Riku's party the night before in a frenzy.

Sora lay sideways on his bed, flipping through a magazine. Blue hues looked with boredom through the pages, flipping rapidly when he saw nothing of interest. To be honest, he had thought several times to pick up and the phone and call Riku, but thought better of it. A murmur passed Sora's lips as he threw the magazine off the bed and laid flat upon it instead.

"This is pointless…" The young teen sighed and looked at the ceiling with mock interest.

No matter what he did, he could not get last night out of his head. Maybe he needed to call Kairi. Maybe that would work. Sora reached for the phone by his bed, at first punching in Riku's number, but soon after caught himself. Sora carefully began to dial once more, this time entering his red-head's phone number instead of his older friend's. Sora pushed the phone up to his ear, patiently awaiting the cheerful voice of Kairi.

"Hello?"

Sora sat up on his bed upon hearing Kairi answer the phone. A cheerful smile crossed his lips when he heard the voice. Kairi would never know the thoughts that coursed through her friends head, and the wishes he had. He was afraid to tell her, or Riku for that fact, because of what they may think. No one ever treated someone the same way they did before after learning a secret. "Hey, Kairi! It's Sora!" Sora chimed into the phone.

"Hey, Sora, what's up?" Kairi inquired, her voice seeming as mellow and kind as it usually did.

Sora wondered in the back of his mind if he ever told Kairi, what she would say. Would she be angry? Upset? Disgusted? Sora's stomach began to do flip-flops as he pushed the thought away. "Nothing, bored. You?"

Sora finished his sentence just in time for his bedroom door to open. Blue eyes glanced curiously, and slightly nervously, at the door. His mom was sleeping and his dad was at work. So why… Sora's heart plummeted when his blue eyes met green ones from across the room. Instantly his mouth became dry as he watched Riku close the door with a snapping noise. The angelic male made his way over to the bed, promptly sitting down beside the boy.

"Oh, I'm pretty good. Have to help my mom with her baking in a bit for the meeting tonight. Did you know that she thinks I'm going to be elected President?" Kairi questioned happily on the other end.

Sora barely had heard what Kairi said as he watched Riku, who really was not Riku at all but still Nisemono, smirk at him. All coherent things to possibly say to the red-head fled his mind upon seeing that devilish look. "Y-y-yeah." Sora replied to Kairi, watching Riku with more curiosity.

"I'm not mad." Nisemono murmured quietly, not wanting to be heard over the phone. His words were in contradiction to what his eyes were saying. Those dark pools of green, shades darker than Riku's, said that he was indeed angry, but more so interested on to why the other had left. A dangerous curiosity. "No matter what, keep talking." Nisemono informed Sora, who questioningly tilted his head.

"Are you going to go to lunch with me and Selphie tomorrow?" Kairi questioned, seeming like she could talk for hours on end.

Sora was about to answer with a spry 'yeah' but his idea was halted. Nisemono's arms had wrapped around Sora suddenly, bringing the boy close to his chest. Sora blinked nervously as he opened his mouth to say something, but nothing surfaced. Bashful blue eyes widened as he watched who he thought was Riku, for he looked identical down to the eyelashes Sora had always envied, place a chaste kiss on his neck.

"Y-y-yes." Sora replied to Kairi, a gasp following that he did his best to conceal. What had gotten _into_ Riku lately? This was far worse than just a suggestive dance. This was _Riku_ kissing his neck! Sora blushed shades of red as he felt his body begin to tremble. Nisemono glanced up at Sora's eyes, laughing silently to himself.

"Something wrong, Sora?" Kairi asked from her side of the phone, seeming a bit annoyed with Sora's one-worded answers.

Sora watched as his best friend placed another kiss to his neck, this time a bit higher. Sora's eyes widened from shock as he initially tried to push Riku off him, which only galvanized the other to kiss him once more, this time at his jaw. "S-stop."

"Stop what?" Kairi questioned at once. And right now Sora hated her quick replies more than anything.

Nisemono let his hand snag Sora's free one that was not holding up the phone. The boy blushed as he tried to push him away once more, but failed when he somehow managed to fall off the bed, landing on his back with a thud. Nisemono stared down at the fallen boy, a laugh passing his lips. A chilling one at that.

"Sora?" Kairi asked, a bit alarmed.

"I'm fine…" Sora mumbled and glanced up at his friend wearily who was smirking at him. "I gotta go though, dad wants me. Bye, Kairi." And with that he hung up. He chucked the phone across the room, only to glare at Riku. "What was that about!" He pouted.

"What? I thought you would enjoy it." Nisemono snickered, leaning back against the wall as he looked to Sora. "Jeez." Nisemono grumbled darkly, arising to his feet and pushing past Sora to the entrance of the room.

"Riku! Wait-!" Sora called, hand flying through the air to snag onto his friend's.

"Yeah?" Nisemono questioned, a hint of malice lingering his voice. Sora blinked at him for a moment, his hand slipping from the silver-haired male's as he glanced downward. "What you did…why did you?"

"It's obvious that you like me." Nisemono stated so cruelly, so bluntly, that it made Sora stare up in alarm, tears threatening to fall, but he forced them to stay in. "I mean, you act like it all the time." His words cut likes knives into Sora's heart as he stared, begging for a reason from the other. "Don't give me that look. It's not like you're my type." And it hurt even worse. "You're too … innocent." And with that he left the room, carrying him with the knowledge of how badly he had hurt the boy, and how big of a setup he was preparing Riku for when he returned.

"…W-w-w-hy…" Sora stammered once Riku had left, hands gripping the floor tightly as the tears clouded his vision. He would not cry. He would not allow himself to do such. Even though it was painful, he would not cry. "Too…innocent… so he…doesn't want me to be like that?..." Sora's mind began to process ideas and before he knew it, he was letting tears fall subconsciously as he began to viciously search that magazine. This time, for something else.

- - --

"Have you ever missed someone but couldn't tell them because you were that mad at them for not missing you?"

Riku surveyed Naminé from where he lay. Hands were relaxing by his sides, fingers flat against the bed. Green eyes glimpsed at the blonde nurse, anticipating an answer from the other. It seemed unfair that he was stuck here, and he wanted to make it known. Even if he had told her countless times, he wanted her to know that this was not his choice, and that he was currently in a state of trauma and anger at his so called best friend. How could Sora not call him? Just the thought of the brunette not wanting to call made Riku wince in disgust. So much for a best friend.

Naminé paused her writing to gaze over at Riku, blue eyes looking questioningly at him. Within those eyes held resentment; to whom, Riku really did not care or desire to find out. The blonde's slender form seemed out of place in the expansive room. She was practically the only host of color other than him, and it felt nice to have some normality, even if it was just for a moment, from an uptight stranger.

"...Most abusers don't have enough humanity left in them to actually feel emotions like that..." She trailed off, blue eyes cast downward at the black pen. After several seconds, around five to be exact, she made sure to will her eyes upward. "Who is it? Your girlfriend?"

A short chuckle came from Riku, which only hurt more than it did good. The teen rose his hand to hold his chest painfully, still recovering from 'what ever' the doctors were doing. This was far more than just your average overdosing case. But to what extent, he did not dare ask. "I don't have a girlfriend."

"Dumped you because of the drugs?" Naminé asked emptily.

"No. Like I said, I don't do drugs. Besides, I don't even want-" Riku began but was silenced when Naminé quietly laughed to herself. The laugh was out of nowhere and it made Riku stop speaking at once. Green hues of curiosity glanced at Naminé, awaiting an explanation for the arbitrary laugh.

"Women aren't objects. The sooner the male race learns that, the better." Naminé declared bitterly, some sentiment seeping through, however.

"I've only had two girlfriends." Riku stated stubbornly, wanting to prove his case to her. He was not going to let this matter be condoned. Perhaps he was being to irascible, but it really did not matter. All that did matter was getting some one, anyone, to believe that he was not as messed up as everyone thought he was. "Nothing ever happened. I don't treat women like objects, and I resent the fact that you're claiming that all men are the same."

"They are, deep down. All they want is something, and when they get that something they leave." Naminé argued, but then quickly shook her head in an internal conflict. "But that doesn't matter. All I'm here for is to make you better so you can go back to your rich life."

"All men aren't like that," Riku mumbled to himself, eyes closing briefly as he did such. "Sora's not like that at all, and neither am I." A slight pause. "But you never answered my question. Have you ever missed someone so much that it hurts?"

"..." Naminé blinked slowly, making her way over to Riku. Her small hands unplugged the tube that had been feeding into his arm, placing a small blue patch over where the incision had been. Proficiently, Naminé unclipped the heart monitor from the teen, allowing him mobility so he could leave the bed. "Get up and follow me." She began to make her way to the door.

"Why?" Riku dared, lifting his right arm slowly, the feeling beginning to return from where the tube had been.

"You need to walk some or your muscle tissue will start to decompse and die." Naminé muttered, knowing full well that it would take weeks in that state for such things to occur.

Riku cautiously and blindly accepted the answer as veracity. It was all he needed. Legs slowly slid off the bed, landing on the floor with a slight thud. The teen hoisted himself off the bed so he was standing up right, allowing his back to crack. Naminé watched him from the doorway, a few feet away, with subtle curiosity. She then left the room, signaling for the other to follow.

Naminé led Riku down the hallways of the hospital towards a small wing. From that wing, she took a left and proceeded to open a door that led out onto an even smaller balcony. Riku warily stepped out alongside the blonde nurse, allowing the cold air to greet his face.

And it felt so nice to actually taste fresh air, breathe fresh air, and just be outside. Emerald eyes at once closed as the silver-haired male indulged in the overdue sensation of being free once more. Naminé watched him as she noiselessly leaned her elbows onto the metal railing around the balcony, which in itself was about the length of two cars.

"If you didn't overdose, then what's the story?"

The question caught Riku off guard. Eyes slowly cracked open, glimpsing at the teen with marvel. He had not been expecting such an answer, but was more than glad to hear it. Lips, however, curved down into a frown as he let his right hand grasp the cold, metal railing before him. Fingers ran up and down the length of the railing, shivering from the touch as he tried to choose the right words.

"I don't know ... all I know is that I took two." Riku stated firmly, a sigh then passing his lips. "I know how stupid that sounds. I'm used to hearing stupid things from stupid people. But sometimes you have to listen to those stupid things. It's just," Riku turned to look at Naminé, "I don't know what happened to me."

"..." She said nothing at first, only looked away. "You asked if I had ever missed someone so much that it hurt, right?" Her voice had fallen to a delicate whisper upon the rough wind around them.

"Yeah." Was the simple answer from Riku.

"I have." Came the even simpler reply. "But he never came back." Blue eyes that had concealed so much hate and anger turned to Riku, now blurry and clouding with forced in tears. She did her best to hide them by quickly looking away, forcing herself to break the brief moment of eye contact. "Tell me... about your friend."

"Why?" Riku asked, uncertain what good that would do.

"They say it speeds up the healing process if you have a reason to live for and to get better for. Tell me about him, everything."

And so he did. Just for this unpretentious moment, time, he could escape his painful reality. Just for now he could leave the pain and comfort of his hospital bed and have a glimpse back onto reality, a smell of life, just in case it would be his last. For he would have to return to his bed shortly and be forced to subject to more tests and treatments, in hopes that he would get well. Yet for now that did not seem relevant. Just for now, he had a friend, who would surely turn against him once more, for she really was not a friend, but another broken player in the cruel game of life. And it helped to talk. For some odd reason, it helped.

- - - - -

Sora watched in absolute fury, hate, and sorrow.

Those hands, the very hands that had been touching him only hours before were now resting on her hips. Not his. And those lips. They were no longer on his neck, but her lips instead. And that seductive smile was no longer directed towards him, but to her. Her red hair fell in her aquamarine eyes, her cheeks painted a light pink, and a nervous smile etched on her face. She had the face of innocence, and he had the face of someone Sora did not even know anymore. And it hurt, knowing his two best friends were together.

Sora felt weak and sick in the stomach as he glared from where he stood. Riku and Kairi, or at least who he thought was Riku (who was actually still Nisemono), were standing on the beach, doing something Sora had only dreamed of. The beach was a cliché place for a date, but yet the idea of Riku actually being romantic enough to bring someone there made Sora's heart skip a beat. However, the idea that Riku had brought Kairi instead made it skip eight more beats. This time, not for joy, but for disappoint.

"I hate them. I hate them both," Sora whimpered to himself, casting a dejected look to the side as he stood on the sidewalk, conveniently located behind a cluster of trees on the outskirts of the beach. "But I can't hate them ... they're my best friends..." He hated logic.

Sora's eyes rose to glance at Riku once more as he held Kairi close to his chest, allowing the girl to wrap her arms around him. The sight made Sora's stomach sick as he quickly looked away.

He should have known this would all be a mistake. Riku was as straight as straight could be, and he only liked messing with his heart lately out of enjoyment. Riku and Kairi belonged together, and there was no place for their troubled little brunette friend who wanted Riku for himself. A boy who had no idea why he liked Riku, but just did. It was not so much the fact that he liked the same gender, but just that one person. He did not go out looking for guys to stare at longingly. It was just Riku, and his body that made him quiver. Something like that, like Riku's body, must be illegal.

This was not love, and Sora knew it. What he felt for Riku was pointless, and he had to come to grips with that as soon as possible.

"He said I wasn't his type, I was too innocent." Sora repeated into the stale air, refusing to look at the sight of his two best friends any longer. Sora's hands instinctively balled into fists as he shook his head in argument to Riku's words. "I'll show him. I can be ..." What was he going to try to be anyhow?

"I can be...sexy." He felt a slight blush creep onto his face just from speaking the words. "Argh! Who am I kidding! I can't do that..." But maybe someone could help him so he could.

He must have been standing there for only five minutes longer when a blur of red came charging at him in a frenzy. Arms latched arond his body as beautiful aquamarine eyes poured tears of frustration and hurt.

"K-kairi?" Sora stammered, now having an armful of his red-head friend.

Kairi was holding tightly onto her brunette friend as she openly wept into his chest. Her massacre that she had so proudly put on ran down her reddened cheeks. Blue eyes slowly rose up to meet Sora's as she began to scramble for words. Anything at all.

"I...can't believe...that...he..." She began in a stammer, choking on sobs in between.

How could Kairi go from that blushing girl on the beach to this wreck in less than ten minutes?! It seemed absurd!

"He?...What?.." Sora had really asked two questions, but really was looking for one answer. He just knew this had to do with Riku. It just had to.

"Riku..." She stated in a sigh, trying her best to take control once more. "He... he broke up with me after one day."

That must hurt.

"He broke up with you!?" Sora asked in a confused holler. First of all, he had not even known the two were together, and secondly how could Riku break up with her after what he had just saw?! It made no sense, and seemed completely unlike Riku. What had happened to the boy Sora had lost his heart unwillingly to so many months and years ago?

"I hate the world, Sora!" Kairi yelled, releasing her death grip from Sora to wipe her eyes and the running massacre. "I don't get how someone can ask you to be their girlfriend then dump you the same day! One day! It's just not right!" Now all the anger came out.

"I'm sorry, Kairi. I don't know what to say," Sora tried his best to understand the situation, and to compress the part of him that was literally jumping for joy over the fact that Riku was single once more.

"What you're supposed to say is that Riku is a jerk," Kairi murmured and then shrugged, "But I wouldn't expect you to say it. You guys are best friends." She did not even ask why he was so conveniently here, and Sora was thankful. He would definitely have some explaining to do if she did ask.

"Kairi... I'm sorry." Was all he could say once more, tilting his head with remorse for his friend.

"I'll be fine ..." She sighed loudly and then reached for Sora's wrist to lead the boy back home as they spoke. Sora complied, following in equal steps and strides to the red-head as they made their way from the beach, back into the main part of the city where they both lived.

"Did he say why?" Sora dared.

"He said that he just didn't feel any chemistry, and that us dating would be a waste of time and that I should just forget about getting with him altogether." Kairi muttered, letting go of Sora's wrist so she could fold her arms to his chest. "How can someone be such an inconsiderate jerk! Riku had promised months ago that if we ever dated, which he said he had doubted, he would never intentionally hurt me."

"He's been acting weird lately..." Sora added on to Kairi's ramble, still feeling his lips on his neck. The touch remained, burnt onto his neck, tingling every so often when he thought back to earlier.

"Tell me about it. I'll be surprised if the whole school doesn't hate him by tomorrow for being such an ass lately." She paused, "No offense, even though there should be," She smirked slightly, "but he better be glad it's summer. If it wasn't, the rumors surely would fly about him."

"Don't let it get to you too much, Kairi." Sora advised, trying his best to sound helpful.

"I won't." She concluded, yet another sigh falling from her lips as they crossed a side street. "But I'm not speaking to him for the rest of summer." She stated bluntly. "Maybe if he had been nicer about all of this I would have. But now, no." And with that Kairi stomped off down the street and to the right into her house, leaving Sora staring with confusion.

Just what was going on with Riku?... Did being excused of overdosing do this to you?.. Or did this run deeper?

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**_This chapter was longer. Excuse the typos, I did my best to proof-read and such. More will be revealed next chapter. Please leave a review if you read, it will help loads. This story should be frequently and quickly updated due to the fact I have all the ideas written out and I have this whole week off. Thanks, and leave a review!_**


	4. side effect

_**AN**:_

_  
yes. this is the longest chapter so far, I am quite proud. I also love it almost as much as the next chapter. heh, thanks for dropping reviews to those who have. I love them all and they keep me writing. I hope this chapter clarifys things a bit more, but it was not made to clarify and make you understand everything regarding the plot. Just most of it. There are many things left to be discovered and said._

_i dedicated this chapter to a few people. firstly, the reviews, all of you. secondly, my roleplay friends, all of them, who make my day bright. I love roleplaying so much and they make it awesome. next, to my lovely twin smexxie who is my best friend for life. and lastly to eric, who i've been together with for a month now. happy one month, babe. (i am so lame)_

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inTOX!CAT!ON  
x ♥ x  
_katraa_

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side-effect**

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It was Monday morning, and no sunlight was entering the unchanging hospital room. Rain plundered the hospital from the heavens above, giving no mercy or taking any heed to plans that may have be ruined due to the rain. Lightning would once in awhile light up the dark and dreary sky. The outline of the sun was scarcely visible behind the blanket of darkness. Rain continued to sweep the countless streets, hitting anything in its unbreakable path.**

"You're going home."

A bag was shoved onto Riku's bed out of nowhere. The black duffel bag landed on Riku's stomach, making the teenager jolt awake from his slumber and clutch the foreign object with inquiry. His heart rate had increased dramatically from being suddenly awakened, but eventually slowed down to a normal pace. Jade eyes stared questioningly at Naminé, wondering why exactly he was going home now, and not yesterday. They really had not done anything in the past few days other than clear his system, so why now?

"The doctors can't find anything wrong with you. You're blood flow is fine, your organs are in working order, there's no clots in sight, and your heart beat is normal." Naminé declared in a sigh, twirling her blonde hair on her finger as she spoke. Riku figured it was a nervous habit, and made sure to make a note about it in his mind.

"So you had cleared my system just in time for the drugs to not do any harm?" Riku inquired hopefully, eyebrows arching as he did such. He really was not one to seek answers by questions, but more so by actions, but this current situation did not allow him that chance. This situation forced him to act like an inquisitive little child, begging for knowledge.

"Exactly." Naminé replied in a murmur, letting the hair whirl off her finger, only for her to begin the process again. "You were lucky, rich boy." She added on, cocking her head to the side as Riku glanced wearily at the bag on his stomach.

"..." He said nothing at first. His hands trailed up and down the black duffel bag in his lap, trying to think of the right words. Naminé beat him to it.

"Having second thoughts? Afraid people are going to treat you differently?" There was yet again no remorse in her voice, and it made Riku literally scowl at her. She sighed in response. "Listen, whether I believe your unlikely story or not, it doesn't matter. Only a few people know, or so you claim, so it won't be that big of a deal. Just... just tell them the truth." And for some reason, she was being helpful just because, and not just because her role as a nurse called for it. This advice, whether it be beneficial or not, was coming straight from her heart; as bruised as it was.

"He hates me, I know it." Riku muttered darkly, hand subconsciously gripping the bag in a small display of anger.

"You won't know until you go home." Naminé offered with a shrug.

"Will I still have to go through consoling?" Riku asked disdainfully, emerald eyes staring emptily at the bag, as if it concealed his so sought for answers.

"Yes." Came the simple reply from the blonde. "You almost died. The trauma alone will haunt and drive you insane unless you get the proper help." She walked over to the silver-haired teen, offering a broken smile.

"I'll be fine on my own. I don't need some stranger trying to pry their way into my life to tell my what I've done wrong. I can do that myself." Riku scoffed angrily, hating the idea that people would now and forever judge him just because of this small mishap.

"Trust me, you need the help." Naminé whispered. "No one should have to go through something like this alone. It can change you."

Riku rose his gaze finally to glance at the nurse. Questions lingered in those pools of jade. Lips parted as if to speak, but instantly shut. It was a silent understanding, but Riku needed more than that. He needed to know what he thought was actually the truth. "What happened to you?"

"It doesn't concern your case." Naminé murmured, turning her back on Riku.

"If I have to go through... consoling, does it matter who does it?" Riku called out to Naminé. His words stopped her in her tracks, making her shoes make a small squeak on the floor.

"They have to know a great deal about you, and how to cope with these things in a professional and safe manner." Naminé explained, refusing to turn around as she spoke.

"Then you do it." Riku stated simply, a smirk curling onto his lips. The smirk at once dissolved when he realized he really had nothing to smirk about. Not now, any ways.

Naminé glanced over her shoulder wearily at Riku, her own questions flashing in her blue eyes. "I know nothing about you. I won't be of any help." She was being honest, and it was a huge step from the cold, shallow, and lieing person he knew only days before.

"Then you and Sora can help me. That is if he even wants to talk to me." Riku trailed off but then continued. "You have the professional background. You understand how to cope with something traumatic. And I at least know something about you. That has to be better than some stranger. And Sora. He can help ... he knows more about me than myself." Which really was not true, to which he would find out sooner or later.

"Listen. I'm only a nurse, not a psychiatrist." Naminé answered in a dull whisper, her back once more turned to the teen. "I'm not qualified to do that. I'm a doctor."

"I don't care." Riku replied in a low voice that could equal the harshness of a growl. "All I care is that I have two people who will actually try."

"..." Naminé looked down for a few minutes before turning around to glimpse at Riku. "Tomorrow at four then..." And with that she silently left the room.

Riku stared in confusion as she left. Did she even know where he lived? Maybe she saw his address on his medical profile. Was she agreeing to this? She had to be to have set up a time and date. Did she really think that Sora was going to agree as well? Maybe... Maybe if Sora knew Riku was trying to cope with this and not label it as nothing, maybe he would help.

Riku pushed the black bag off him to get changed and head back home. Home. It seemed so far away, and yet so close now.

----

The rain falling outside the limo his butler drove, lulled him into a sleep. Arms were tightly folded to his chest as he sat in the back seat. Earlier he had been staring out the window, watching the watery world pass by them as they drove on. Silver strands of hair were resting on Riku's face. Usually such a thing would annoy the other, but due to the fact that he was asleep, he did not even notice or feel the bothersome strands of hair on his face. Green eyes were tightly shut as he fell in and out of dreams. Many made no sense, and he was sure that when he woke up, he would not have a recollection of any. And he liked it that way.

The limo sailed over a pothole, the back tire sinking in, resulting in the limo to jerk upwards. A bump. Riku snapped his eyes open as the smooth ride continued. The bump they had gone over had woken him up, and now he was certain he was not going to fall back asleep. Jade hues glanced outside the window beside him, noticing his house coming into site. A smile crept onto his lips as the limo turned into the expansive driveway. The black car entered the garage with a silent thud as the door closed behind them.

Home. He was home.

"Welcome home, Master Riku." The butler spoke, having exited the car and gone to opening the door.

"Yeah, welcome back yourself." Riku answered in regards to the butler's weekend vacation away from the house. Riku slipped out of the car with ease, letting his feet hit the cold floor of his garage. The cold air hit his face as the sound of rain on the roof relaxed him. It felt so nice to see colors other than that sterile white.

Riku left the garage through the door that connected with the main house. Once inside, carrying his black duffel bag tightly, he made his way to the living room. Everything seemed exactly like how he had left it. Normal. Safe.

"It's not over yet." Riku mumbled to himself, collapsing onto his couch with a sigh. He may be home, but the side-effects to the over-dosing dilemma would remain. Just the thought of that gave Riku a headache.

"…" Riku glanced wearily to the phone beside him. He had not seen Sora since Friday afternoon, and it was Monday. A frown crossed his lips as he weakly reached for the phone. The teen easily dialed in the brunette's number that he had memorized. One ring. Two ring. Three ring.

"Hello?" Came the empty and emotionless response from the other end.

Riku's throat suddenly became dry as he held the phone tighter, grasping for words. "Hey…"

"Hi…Riku…" Sora mumbled, seeming as if he really did not want to talk.

Riku winced a bit from the treatment he was getting from his best friend. He was not going to push on the situation and demand a reason why Sora sounded like he hated him. "Can you come over?" Stick to the shortest and simplest questions.

"…fine." Sora mumbled before hanging up.

Riku winced once more from the phone disconnecting. Sora never hung up on him. Their conversations were never that long. A sigh passed Riku's lips as he placed the phone back on it's cradle. Jade eyes clouded with confusion and anger.

Riku made his way silently up to his room. Once inside, he let out an annoyed sigh. The teen's body collapsed onto the bed as hands feverishly reached for a pillow to tightly mash his face into. Why was everything so different. Why couldn't he just go back to everyone being his friend, Sora being his best friend. Maybe Sora was still his best friend, just acting cold because he hated what happened. Hopefully that was the case. Riku prayed it was.

A knocking on his door dragged Riku back into reality. Empty green eyes turned to the side as he watched his friend enter. Riku at once looked away and stared up at the ceiling, afraid to make eye-contact with his friend after so long, and everything that had happened.

"What do you want?..." Sora questioned in a mumble, hating having to be so cold to his friend. Sora leaned his back against the wall, closing the door with a gentle thud.

"I wanted to see you. Is that such a bad thing?" Riku answered just as emotionlessly as Sora had.

"It is." Sora replied in a snap.

Riku arose to his feet, walking over to the other, not really looking at him. "I didn't overdose." Riku barked.

"I know." Sora answered but shrugged. "Then again, I can't believe anything you say anymore."

"What?" Riku growled, back turned to Sora.

"You know what I said." Sora replied with a sigh.

"Sora! Would you listen to me?! I've told you that I didn't overdose, and damnit I meant it!" Riku growled angrily, trying to get the boy's attention as he turned around. Before this moment he had not realized that Sora looked ... different. Instead of the bashful and conservative style Riku had become used to that Sora wore constantly, there lay upon the boy something else.

Black pants were hanging loosely on Sora's hips, as low cut as they possibly could be. Upon the pants, which seemed a bit too tight, were chains and the things Riku and Sora used to crack jokes over. On Sora's eyes themselves was a thick layer of massacre and eyeliner, which in any other case would make someone look hilarious, but in this case, it made Sora's eyes seem all that more alluring. The boy wore a tight black shirt that barely covered his stomach. To finish the outfit off was a black choker around the teen's neck.

Sora glanced over at Riku weakly, trying his best to hide the mental anguish he was suffering. Riku was being so distant lately, and he just wanted to know why. First he had made a fool out of him, and then Kairi. Riku had never done that before, and for him to have actually done such made Sora sick. Not only from disgust, but from worry. Did the overdose incident change Riku that much?

Blue eyes met with green ones briefly before Sora looked away, shoving his nose up high in the air. The brunette barely heard the whisper from his friend after a few moments, "What are you..."

"So now you want to talk?" Sora grumbled, aggressively turning around and stalking his way over to Riku. Sora felt like his stomach was in knots, and just having to be in the same room, Riku's bed room for heavens sake, with the person he was incredibly attracted, made matters worse. Sora was trying his best not to be the innocent boy Riku had claimed to not be interested in. He had to try something else, he just had to. Riku was not worth giving up on. Then again ... Riku had done some incredibly horrible things these past days.

"Sora..." Riku stammered, which was quite rare for the teen. Riku never stuttered, stammered, or slurred his words. He was always the one to have a sarcastic, smart, cruel, or diligent answer. He was always the one to smirk at you when you did something wrong and make you feel worse. Of course, he never meant it, but lately, Sora felt like he did mean it.

"You know, Riku. I hate the fact that you think you can get away with doing things like that!" Sora declared with anger, glaring at his friend. The brunette was now literally up against the taller teen, blue eyes staring infuriately up at him. Sora did not let his glare falter once, but the distance between the two was slowly driving him insane.

"L-listen, I-" Riku began, wanting to slap himself for the stupid stammers, but found it impossible to stop. The moment Sora had stepped up against him, he had lost his mind. For some reason, Sora in this state, and every state as it seemed, was really getting to him. And now, with Sora right up against him, glaring at him, body against him, he just could not take it. This was something more than what he wanted. And the reaction he was getting from Sora's actions proved it.

"You didn't mean it, right?" Sora snapped, arms tauntingly rising up to encircle Riku's neck. He kept a steady glare, as if to contradict what he was doing. "Well, guess what. Some things you just can't take back." This was not Sora speaking at all. This was someone tough, someone cruel, and the words that were flying out of Sora's mouth made Sora cringe mentally. He was being really cruel... but he just had to get his point across to Riku.

Riku's face turned a shade of red the moment his friend's arms had reached upward. Green eyes clouded, with what he denied was lust, at once. Blood began to rush throughout his body, traveling downward as he stood there. Why did Sora have to wear such- Riku closed his eyes at once. This was not happening. He was not... getting turned on by a guy. By Sora. It was disgusting. Then again... "Sora..."

Sora reached upward, letting his mouth hover near Riku's hear, being forced to stand on his toes to do such. "I hate you, Riku. I don't even know you anymore. I just want you to die." Sora breathed harshly, wondering if he meant anything he said. But the words were said, and the actions were done. The brunette let go of Riku at once and stormed out of the room, face completely pale.

Sora was thankful he had left when he did, for being so close to Riku was driving him insane. Once outside Riku's room and down the hall, the boy slumped his body against the wall. Sora breathed out heavily, body trembling. There was no denying it now. He wanted Riku more than words could begin to express. He wanted to kiss him, hold him, feel him, touch him... and anything else that involved just being with the other.

Sora glanced sideways down the hall, body still trembling. He had been that close to kissing Riku, and he knew it. If he had not left with his declaration when he did, he would have. He would have kissed his best friend since childhood and would have let Riku know that he was incredibly turned on by him. "What is wrong with me..." Sora whimpered into the air, looking in disgust at the clothes he had forced himself to wear. This was not him, but only the image Nisemono had created for Sora of what Riku wanted. When in honesty, that was not what Riku wanted at all.

"I can't speak to him...that's all... he never has to know. No one does. I just won't speak to him. It serves him right..." Sora whispered to himself as he made his way out of Riku's house. He believed what he said, just for that moment in time. When he left, he encountered those dreaded second thoughts.

Riku remained in his room, standing in the same spot he was before in complete shock. The image of Sora in such 'revealing' clothing stayed fresh in Riku's mind. _What a nice welcome home present_... Riku cautiously made his way over to his bed, sitting down at once. His body involuntarily ached with need. The teen winced as he shut his eyes. Sora could never do something like that _again_. Never. Riku was not 'gay' and he _certainly_ did not like Sora.

And he certainly was not suffering from a very unpleasant reaction located south of his waist...

----

Nisemono smirked from his success as he sat there in the dark room. Riku was back, for the most part. Too bad the poor teenager didn't realize what exactly were in those pills, and how different his life was about to become. Too bad for Riku that he had now lost all respect of Kairi and most of the people at the school. Too bad for Riku that Sora now was afraid of the truth, a lot more the he was to begin with.

And that was only the half of it. To destroy someone's life, you had to do worse. There was more Nisemono could do, he knew that, but now he would let it settle. He would allow Riku a few days back in his life, then ... well, then everything would take a turn and Nisemono would step back in for a bit. For how long he did not know. What he did know was the impact he would make the second time around.

To be pretend to be someone was quite the tricky process. You had to know how they acted, give or take a few cruel traits which Nisemono was not about to give up just to satisfy Sora. You had to know all about the people around them, their friends, and the people that liked them more then they let on. You had to get inside there mind and do things they would, but with a sadistic twist. You had to get people to trust them completely, then break that trust for good.

This was far more than just being the identical clone to Riku. Far more then just looking like him. For this to work, he had to be like him. Just the him that the world would rather have ...

His plan? It was simple enough; destroy Riku's life. But why? And for what purpose? That was simple as well. Once Nisemono had gotten everyone to hate Riku, in some form or another, so much that they forced themselves to forget the male, he would leave town and start fresh some place knew. He would be Riku Kardada for real. And the real Riku? Well, he would be out of the picture ... All Nisemono was to be real.

------

Riku could not take what was happening between him and Sora. Hell, he had not even managed to ask the teen for help on his consoling before Sora had left, claming he hated him and wanted him to _die_. Riku wanted to resolve this. He wanted Sora to help him and Naminé. He just wanted to be Sora's best friend again.

Riku banged his fist on Sora's front door. He did not understand why he was even here. He should not have left his house and ran down the street to Sora's. He shouldn't have banged his fists on Sora's door, demanding the boy to open up. But here he was, knocking on the teen's door with desperation. His throat was dry once more as he continued to plunder the wood door with fists.

"Sora." Riku called loudly. "Please, Sora. Open this door!" Riku seethed, eventually giving up and leaning his forehead against the door with anguish. "Sora…please." Riku breathed weakly, fingers running against the wood. If he had not stopped banging when he did, his fists would have begun to bled.

"…Sora, please." Riku spoke once more, lips letting the words fall. His heart slowed to a steady beat as he fought back the urge to just break down. This was definitely not good for his consoling.

"Sora. I'm sorry! Just open this door! I really …" He paused, not being able to find the right words. He really what? Wanted to see Sora? He had saw Sora today, and that had resulted in something _incredibly_ awkward. Wanted to apologize? That was harder said than done.

"Riku, just give up." Sora spoke from behind the door. The brunette hands as well were running against the smooth wood. He did not want to give up, honestly. He wanted Riku to open his eyes and realize how deeply he cared for the other. He wanted Riku to kiss his neck again, but this time tell him he wanted him. Sora shivered from the thought.

Sora had changed back into his normal clothing and scrubbed the eyeliner and such off his face as quick as he could. He hated dressing like that, and vowed never to again. Riku had not reacted to the change, so why should he even bother?

"Sora. I'm not giving up, damnit. Open the door and please let me explain." Riku seethed, forehead still against the door as he spoke in a loud whisper.

"I can't forgive you, Riku!!" Sora answered in a weak tremble.

"Damn Sora…." Riku mumbled, unable to understand why the other was so upset. "Just please, open this door."

"I can't. I said I hated you and I meant it." Sora snapped, knowing full well that the words he spoke were not the truth, only a weak lie.

"…You hate me?" Riku answered, as if this was the first time he had heard the other say it. Before he had time to add anything else onto his question, a sharp pain pierced through his chest. The teen's arm at once went spiraling upwards to clutch his chest painfully. "Fuck." He breathed, weakly falling to his knees, in hopes that the pressure on his chest would lower. The pain grew as he gasped for air. He needed air.

"Riku?..." Sora asked from behind the door.

"F-fucking…" Riku answered, unable to make any other words as he watched his vision blur. He knew something was wrong, and knew going home was a bad idea.

"H-hel.." Was all Riku managed to get out before he watched the door fly open, a startled Sora behind it.

"R-riku?" Sora stammered uneasily, fear filling his blue eyes.

Riku's vision continued to blur as he felt his consciousness slipping. He needed help. His body was weak and his mental state was worse. Sora looked at him nervously, grabbing for his free wrist. "I'm so sorry…" Sora stammered just before Riku blacked out.

Riku's fate and life was now lingering in the hands of the boy who claimed to hate him one moment, but liked him all the time.

-----

"What happened to him?..."

Sora looked weakly across the hallway. Standing parallel to him was the blonde nurse, Naminé, holding her clipboard tight to her chest. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and her blue eyes were cast downward. Pale blue eyes refused to lock onto Sora's deep azul ones, so remained looking at the tiled floor beneath them. Sora, who had been staring at Naminé, awaiting an answer, cleared his throat. The teen restated his answer, hoping that maybe this time he would get an answer. None came. Blue eyes began to flood with worry as his body started to tremble. Was Riku ... alive? Desperation flashed in Sora's eyes at once. "Please! Answer me..."

"He had a heart attack." Naminé informed, her voice was the opposite of lucid, thus spiteful and cruel. The way Riku spoke about the brunette across the way from her had made her begin to like the boy, and at the same time hate him for not bothering to call when Riku was hospitalized.

"Is he ... okay?!" Sora stammered, trying to glance to the right of Naminé to spy into the white room, but found it impossible. Blue eyes looked downward, tears threatening to cloud his vision. Sora tightened his fists by his sides, refusing to allow his body to cry. He could not cry. Grown men do not cry. That was just silly.

"He's fine." Naminé snapped, earning a startled look from Sora. "Listen, I really don't think you should be here. I mean, you didn't bother calling him when he was in here the first time, so why care now?" Her eyes narrowed at him, pulling the clipboard closer against her chest as she snapped at the younger teen in obvious dislike and distrust.

"Riku's my ... best friend." Sora felt like saying the words he had become so familiar with, were no longer familiar but foreign. Pale, pink lips formed the words just fine, but his tone lacked confidence and reassurance. It surprised Sora more then it surprised Naminé who only laughed in shame and pity and looked away. "Please. I was ... afraid to call." Afraid that Riku had changed. The Riku he knew, had known, would never overdose. Never.

"Come off it. No one's afraid to call their best friend." Naminé snarled, looking back at Sora, "That's just a pathetic excuse for being lazy and not caring." She turned her gaze away from Sora again, this time entering Riku's room as she did such. Sora cautiously followed, rather being able to see Riku and have Naminé snap at him, then not see the other at all.

Riku was laying unconscious, perhaps asleep, on the same bed he had been on earlier that day. Lips were closed over green eyes as he slept. He looked so agonized, so hurt. Sora froze where he was standing, staring at Riku's body on the bed with mortification. The teen's silver hair fell in his face and on the pillow beside him, making him look like a god turned mortal. "Riku..." Sora whispered, frightened by the machines around him that were connected to his friend.

Naminé had no place to speak any longer. She looked to Riku and then to Sora before making her way to the door. However, before leaving she uttered, "I'll give you ten minutes with him. He should be waking up anytime now." And with that she left the room, still not keen on Sora being in there.

Sora looked weakly at Riku, his body trembling with regret and fear. Riku had not chosen to be here this time, and Sora was absolutely terrified. People died all the time from heart attacks, so what if Riku died? The idea startled Sora, making him move closer to Riku's bed.

Once there, once looking at the face he had told 'i hate you' to, Sora felt lifeless. The brunette's knees gave out from underneath him. The teen sat there, on his knees, elbows on Riku's bed, and began to cry into his folded arms. There was no point in hiding his tears anymore. Everything that had happened the past three days was enough to traumatize both of them, and Sora was suffering from everything hitting him at once. He could have lost Riku; twice.

"..." Sora stopped his sobbing when he felt a strong and soft hand move through his brown locks of hair. The feeling sent shivers down Sora's spine as he quickly rose his glance to be met with slowly opening jade eyes. Sora's heart dropped upon seeing the green hues, and having Riku's hand repeatedly rummage through his hair. "Sora?..."

Riku by this point had fully opened his eyes. Jade hues were now glancing at his best friend sitting beside the bed in wonder. And were those ... tears? Riku cocked his head to the right, propping it against the pillow as he did such. Lips parted to speak weakly as he reached let his hand fall from Sora's hair and rest on Sora's cheek as digits carefully brushed against said cheek. "Are you crying?..."

Sora's heart was up in his throat, and he was not quite sure if he was going to be okay. When he felt Riku's hand leave the comforting stroking of his hair and lower itself onto his cheek, the boy's cheeks at once turned a scorching red. Of course, due to the fact he had been crying, it was impossible to realize he was blushing. "N-no." Sora stammered, looking downward in shame.

Riku cracked a restless smile. "Hey, it's okay to cry you know."

Sora looked questioningly at Riku, wondering if his words were true. It didn't take him that long to smile back. Riku always spoke the truth... "I'm sorry, Riku." Sora whispered, hands kneading the hospital bed-sheet in result of nerves.

"Sorry about?..." Riku trailed off, eyebrows raising as he let his fingers fall from Sora's cheek. "About you not visiting me? About you, being a jerk to me? Or about you saying you hated me?" He paused. "Or are you sorry for something else?"

"Everything." Sora murmured, now finding it hard to make eye-contact with his friend. "I'm really sorry ... I just." It was so hard saying your feelings about someone to their face. Much harder then Sora had fantasized it would be.

In the boy's odd dream world he imagined confessing to Riku in his bedroom, (he really didn't care where), the taller teen wrapping his arms around him with a smile, placing chaste kisses on his lips, then neck, and uttering words of love and devotion. Sora's mind was far too innocent at that moment to dive into what happened after that. Just imaging Riku doing those things to him would send his mind into over-drive.

"I just was afraid you were going to die, okay?" Cheesy line, and Sora knew it. Bashful blue eyes stared at Riku, finally allowing himself to lock onto green eyes. And that was among countless reasons why he had somehow managed to fall for his best friend; whether it be a pointless crush that would fade in time or something else. "You overdosed and had a heart attack, Riku! Two things that rarely happen in a person's life, and you did them both in a matter of days!" Sora declared, words flying out of his mouth.

"The heart attack was a result of the overdose, Naminé told me when I first was rushed in here." Riku replied, correcting Sora with subtle amusement at his friend's ramblings.

"How can you be so laid back about having almost died, twice?!" Sora demanded, looking Riku squarely in the eye with desperation.

The question caught Riku off guard as he glared down at his hands that were resting in his lap as he sat there. "I'd rather not obsess over them." Riku stated simply.

"...Riku..." Sora sighed, knowing full well that Riku was far too head-strong to be overally bothered by this, even though it was quite serious. And it made Sora shudder inside. If Riku was this unfeeling and unemotional about death, how would he react to Sora confessing he liked him as more then a friend? Sora felt his stomach tie into knots once more.

"That reminds me," Riku leisurely rose his hand and rested it upon Sora's cheek, thinking nothing of the friendly gesture. Sora had always let Riku do these kind of friendly things, so the silver-haired teen learned to not let them phase him. Sora, on the other hand, was finding it hard not to react. "I want you to be a part of my rehab..." Riku informed, referring to his discussion with Naminé earlier in the day.

"What?" Sora blinked, "I thought you said that you didn't overdose so you don't need rehab..." Sora whispered, hating how he was saying those words about Riku.

"I guess something as serious as this needs counseling and rehab regardless." Riku shrugged distantly, grumbling at the fact how everyone believed that he overdosed. And that reminded him, "Sora?"

"Yeah?" Sora glimpsed upwards once more, letting his eyes innocently meet his best friend's.

"Do you believe me?" It was an honest and innocent question, and he was expecting one of the same morals and traits. "That I didn't overdose. Do you believe me?"

"Of course." Why shouldn't he? Nisemono had informed Sora that he had only taken two pills and that the doctors discovered it. So why shouldn't Sora believe him. "I believe you." A small smile.

"Good." Riku smirked a bit, brushing his fingers across Sora's cheek before letting his hands fall back downward onto the bed, leaving his friend with a burning sensation. "So, will you help?"

"What can I do?" Sora murmured, not really understanding how he could help Riku's healing process.

"You know the saying, having someone there, being a part of and actually caring speeds up the recovery." Riku gave a cheesy grin which earned a laugh from Sora. "I know, stupid saying, but it's true." He shrugged as he pushed silver strands of hair out of his eyes. "So, will you? Or do you still hate me?"

"I will." Sora quickly replied, perhaps a bit too quickly. He cleared his throat, blinking a bit. "And I told you, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it... I just... I don't know. Everything was getting to me lately."

"I can understand that." Riku shrugged once more as he stared at Sora, feeling the need to ask another question. "Can I ask you a completely justified question?" Riku inquired, green eyes focused on the brunette sitting by his bedside.

"Um... sure?" Sora replied, his answer sounding more like a question then Riku's had.

"Why were you wearing such suggestive clothing earlier? Trying to sex somebody up, were you?" Riku sneered at his friend as he questioned him, holding back a laugh. Although... he had been- okay, anyone would have felt some reaction to seeing Sora in such clothing, right?

"Oh! Um..." Sora blushed and tugged at his normal clothing. "You know, I figured..." Sora found himself into a hole. He couldn't say that he was doing it because he thought that kind of style was Riku's style, that would prove that Sora was really interested in him. Instead, he let the blush grow as he remained silent.

"Figured that you would get a girlfriend like that?" Riku guessed, to which he received a pout from Sora. "Sora, the only thing you're going to get from dressing like that is some horney gay guy." Riku answered simply.

Wait. Rewind that. Riku winced at his own words. Fuck. Maybe he should reword what he had said. If all Sora was going to get was some horney gay guy, then did that make.. no! It was not like he was getting- okay, his pants had become slightly tighter, but it wasn't like he wanted to- argh. There was no logical reasoning and it made Riku cough loudly to try and push the thoughts away.

"Riku! I'm not bisexual!" Sora pouted, blue eyes staring at him with shock. Not bisexual, but very gay and very much crushing on Riku. Sora sighed at his failed attempt.

"I know, I know, sheesh. Don't have to kill me. I was just making a point." Riku shrugged, "Just don't wear that anymore."

"Why?" Sora felt a grin creep onto his lips. "Did you like it?" The grin grew as he found it amusing to taunt Riku, hoping he would get some sort of reaction from the other. "Did you find yourself wanting me, Riku? Did you want to runs your hands-" Sora was cut off by Riku.

"Sora! Cut it out." Riku seethed, holding his head with vexation. "You're giving me disturbing mental images." Images of the brunette in his arms, completely unclothed, moaning and- he really needed to end this conversation before he got sick.

"Aw, Riku. You never answered the question!" Sora pouted, the grin still visible.

"Sora. I have no interest in your skimpy clothing." Riku informed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

"Still not answering the question..." Riku was leaving many loopholes... "Just because you don't like my clothing doesn't mean that it didn't turn you on and make you want me." Sora grinned once more, the largest grin in his life, by far.

"Sora!" Riku snapped, gripping the blanket on his left, opposite of Sora, when he realized that the images Sora was delivering in his mind was causing a painful chain reaction in his body. "I said no, and I meant it."

"Fine. Meanie." Sora shrugged, a bit disappointed and hurt by the reaction. But this was Riku was so much better then the one he had been forced to deal with during the weekend. It felt nice to have his best friend back... He was about to continue his taunting but was cut off by Naminé clearing her throat at the entrance of the room.

"I have to ask you to leave. Riku needs his rest and we need to run a few tests to make sure his heart is stable." Naminé informed Sora who glanced her way the moment she had spoken. Sora glimpsed back at Riku, sending him a reassuring smile before arising to his feet. He was about to make his way for the door when he felt Riku's arm reach out and latch onto his wrist, making Sora blush violently.

"Remember. You promised." He smirked, hand slipping from the brunette's wrist, fingers lingering in the palm of Sora's hand for a few moments before falling back onto the bed.

"Y-yeah." Sora spoke with a quick nod, hand feeling like it was on fire as he left the room in a hurry, mind spinning.

Naminé watched him leave and shut the door, laughing to herself. Riku found her behavior quite rare and interesting. Jade eyes turned to her, questions lingering in them as he did such. "Why are you laughing?"

"Wait," Naminé paused across the room, closing the drawer she had opened, been about ready to take something out from it for the test. "You don't' know, do you?" She grinned, one of equal strength of Sora's. Which surprised Riku even more.

"Don't know what..." Riku inquired, trailing off, uncertain if he even wanted to know.

"I doubt you'll believe me, seeing I haven't been the nicest person to you, and the fact that we barely know each other, but from the way he was acting, its really obvious that he likes you." Naminé smirked, resuming her search through the drawer.

"Yeah. He's my best friend. Of course he likes me." Riku retorted, not understanding what Naminé was jabbing and hinting at.

"Riku." Naminé grabbed something that looked similar to the heart-monitor thing that was always on his finger. "I meant that he likes you in a romantic sense. The boy's in love with you. Okay, maybe not love, but something close to it." She shrugged, as if she was melting from such a tragic love story as the one she was witnessing.

"Are. you. serious?" Riku couldn't help but let out a round of chuckles, clutching his chest from laughing so hard. "Sora's the straightest person I know." Riku finally answered, still sporting a few laughs here and there.

"I wouldn't bet on that..." Naminé spoke, shaking her head in dismay at how blind Riku really was. "He blushed every time you touched him, said something about him. The boy looked like he was holding back tackling you on the bed." Naminé found amusement out of belittling people's lives. But in this case, it was just pointing out the obvious.

"You must have problems with reading people." Riku informed Naminé nonchalantly. "Sora has never once showed any interest in me as more than a friend, and it will always be that way. And vice versa."

"Oh. I get it." Naminé nodded to herself and laughed softly. "You don't see that he's madly in love with you because you've forced yourself to ignore any signs of that. You've made yourself think that anything he does that may be hinting to that is just your best friend bond. I get it." Naminé walked over to Riku, clipping the new metal piece onto him. This one went around his right wrist, and measured his pulse at its prominent spot, to see if there was any irregular heartbeats.

"..." Riku glanced to the side, suddenly speechless. That was so not the case. He didn't see it because it wasn't there, that was all. "Can we just get this test over with?..." Riku whispered in an empty tone, emerald eyes looking to Naminé as if he had just been dealt a powerful blow to the stomach.

"It is." She spoke simply, making note of the screen. "Both parts."

"Huh?.." Riku blinked in confusion, voice still empty.

"The pulse rate and the part with you having to be able to stand emotional pain. Usually we just inflict artificial mental stress onto the brain to see if the heart and brain are able to process it correctly. Shock, basically." She smirked and then paused. "This time, though, the test was real. How ironic."

"... Sora is straight." Riku stated into the air for no reason at all.

"Do you want to test that theory?" Naminé wondered, writing something down on her sheets of paper in Riku's folder.

"Yeah..." Riku was surprised at his own answer.

"Tomorrow. When we send you back home and I come to your place with him for your therapy, consoling, what ever you want to call it... I want you to pull him aside and kiss him. See what he does." Naminé arched her eyebrows with curiosity.

"I am not kissing him!" Riku suddenly blurted out, heart skipping a beat with shock.

"...Afraid to? It's just a kiss." Naminé shrugged.

"You just don't kiss someone you have no interest in to see their reaction. That's cruel, even for me. Either you have some serious issues or-" Riku began in a ramble but was cut off suddenly when a pair of icy lips melted onto his owns. His heart stopped once more as the lips left his own.

"See? It's easy to kiss someone you have no interest in." Naminé spoke emptily to Riku, hovering over him before smirking and leaving the room, also leaving Riku in complete shock and anger and slight disgust at the kiss. There was no way he could kiss Sora...

What if Sora... enjoyed it? What if.. he enjoyed it?


	5. diagnose

_quick chapter update. yay snow day. yes, this chapter has dark themes and strong language, so yeah. T+ i suppose. enjoy and hope for an update soon. leave me a review too. even if it's just one word. i want to make sure people are actually reading, ha... and yes, namine will slowly be falling back into the girl we all know from the game. give it time, i know she is acting completely weird. same with kairi, heh. trust me on this. and review!_

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inTOX!CAT!ON  
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_katraa _

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diagnose

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"All right. Sora, pass me that book." 

Sora was sitting on the couch beside Riku, as close as he could possibly get to the other. Naminé was sitting across the coffee table from them, in one of Riku's vast amounts of chairs. Instead of the normal nurse clothing she always wore, she was now dressed in an elegant white skirt with a white blouse, hints of hues of blue, complimenting her eyes, every here and there. In her ears were simple blue studs, and around her neck was a simple silver chain with a blue stone. She was simple in all ways, and she would rather have it that way any day of the week then subject herself to dressing like a hooker.

Sora reached for the book beside him on the couch and passed it across the coffee table to Naminé. The brunette knew that he stood on shaky terms with Naminé, but he would not push the issue. For all he knew, Naminé was just a helpful nurse who had helped Riku survive. The boy had no idea that she was far more complex of a person then he would like. Blue eyes of Sora turned to Riku shortly before peeling themselves off him, afraid that he would be caught staring.

"I know that the first step to recovery is discussing the incident, but in this case I don't think that's the best thing." Naminé advised, scrunching her nose in distaste. She knew that Riku was sticking with his two pill theory, and she believed him as much as Sora did. "The next step is talking about how you felt after it happened. The emotional and physical pain."

"Are you serious? I have to ramble on about that?" Riku asked in a sigh, not really liking this. He had suffered such horrendous pain, pain that he could have died from. He glimpsed at Naminé briefly, watching her blue eyes shift to Sora, as if to hint at something.

"If you want to take a break so you can clear your mind before we actually start, feel free to. I don't want you having other things on your mind as we try and do this." Naminé made sure to articulate her words carefully, a smile leaking onto her lips. She noticed this at once and went back to reading the book in a flustered frenzy.

"All right. Sounds good." Riku concluded, arising from his spot and looking back down at Sora. "Want to come with to get a drink from the kitchen?" Riku offered Sora so innocently that he was a bit ashamed for what he was going to do. It wasn't like he was even approving of what he was going to do, but Naminé did have some knowledge on how the mind worked, and perhaps this would be best for the both of them.

"Sure!" Sora all but too easily agreed, springing from his spot and following Riku into the kitchen. Once there, the boy's eyes glimpsed around the familiar tan hued kitchen, making his way to the fridge. Before he even had a chance to read out and open the metal fridge, an arm slid around his waist, causing him to freeze where he stood.

"Sora. Can I ask you something?" Riku whispered softly, letting his lips rest hovering above Sora's ear as he spoke. His own heart beat frantically, uncertain if what he was doing was even right. What if Sora hated him for this? Would Sora hate him? Riku winced at the idea but kept his arm firmly around his friend's waist, knowing there was no turning back now.

"S-sure." Sora answered, cursing his stammering as he uneasily gulped. Riku's hand was around his waist. He had to let that process in his mind. Sora felt his eyes begin to blink rapidly as he stood there, body stirring just from the simplest touch of his best friend.

"What I said yesterday," Riku whispered, lips fluttering over the boy's earlobe as he continued, "about you dressing like a hooker." He was afraid to let his lips touch any part of the boy, so he resisted the urge to kiss his friend's ear.

"Yeah?" Sora replied, hoping for a quick explanation or what ever Riku was going to give so he could grab his drink and hurry back. He really did not want Riku witnessing Sora being roused by the friendly things Riku was doing. That would not look good.

"I'm sorry if I offended you." Riku apologized before he realized he was back-tracking. He mentally slapped himself and tried a different approach. The silver-haired teen used his arm that was around Sora to push the boy back up against the fridge, earning a 'eep' from him. Jade eyes locked with blue ones as he gazed down at Sora who was finding it hard to breathe.

"R-riku?..." Sora questioned, watching Riku's free and gentle hand raise to rest on his face. Sora felt like he was on fire from the touch and gulped once more. Was he dreaming? No, but he was certainly excited from this.

"Shush." Riku replied sweetly, fingers stroking Sora's face so softly that he was uncertain if the other even felt it. Regardless, Riku forced himself to move his face closer to Sora's. His lips were within centimeters now. Around ten, maybe. So like an inch.. Riku's green eyes continued to stare into blue ones, afraid that the boy was going to pull back.

Sora shivered, excitement traveling up and down his spine, and Riku had not even kissed him yet. Sora watched breathlessly as the space grew smaller, now only millimeters away. They were so close that he could feel Riku's husky breath on his lips. Just that alone made Sora's arms wrap timidly around Riku's neck, afraid that doing anything else would scare Riku away. Sora was doing this out of want, Riku was doing this out of inquiry.

Riku finally allowed himself to close the gap between them, placing a chaste kiss on his friend's lips. His refined lips brushed against Sora's trembling pale ones, sending an electric jolt coursing through his body. Sora shivered under his touch, bashfully returning the kiss. The brunette was so inexperienced, and it showed.

"Sora?..." Riku inquired in a whisper, only for Sora to mesh their lips together once more

Riku let his hand tug Sora closer to him so that the shorter of the two was now pressed firmly against his chest. Sora became terrified that if Riku were to move, or he, that his friend would surely discover the embarrassing reaction he was getting form this. Sora's mind was dragged back to reality when he felt Riku's fingers continue to stroke his cheek, lips continually meshing up against his own.

"R-riku..." Sora whispered into the kiss, slowly returning the kisses he was getting from his taller friend. He had dreamt of this. Wanted this for so long. Now he was here, Riku kissing him, and he was afraid that this would be his only chance to convey how he really felt about the other. A soft mew of approval came from Sora as he unknowingly parted his lips, hoping that the other would get the hint.

It hit Riku hard. Sora was bisexual. Riku knew the moment that Sora had let out his own idea of a moan, softer and gentler then most people's, and parted his lips, awaiting eagerly for Riku to deepen the kiss. Or maybe Sora wasn't. Maybe this was Riku's imagination playing tricks on him and Sora wasn't enjoying this at all. There was only one way to be sure ...

Riku cautiously and shyly, against his better judgment, slid his tongue against his friend's lips, receiving a small moan from the brunette that was drowned out by Riku's heart beat ringing in his ears. The silver-haired male's tongue slowly entered the unexplored, and once forbidden area of Sora's mouth, being greeted by an eager counterpart, flicking against his own out of nowhere causing Riku to shudder and involuntarily utter a moan.

Sora gasped upon hearing Riku moan. Oh god... Riku so was not allowed to moan. Sora felt his body become weightless. Riku's moan was so lustful and... everything Sora imagined it to be. The brunette slid his tongue shyly against Riku's invading one, hoping to coax another reaction from his friend.

They both were going slow, and they knew it. Was this just to please the other?

Riku was still uncertain where the heck he and Sora stood, but was getting a better idea every second. Still, he needed to be sure. Riku returned the treatment he was getting from Sora, making the brunette shudder in his grasp and mew in satisfaction and eventually squirm.

Great going, Sora.

By Sora's sudden movement, a sensitive and quite hardened part of Sora's anatomy had brushed against Riku's, causing both to gasp in ecstasy. Sora felt his cheeks burn a bright red as Riku's free hand slid around his waist, teasing the other by fiddling with the rim of his shirt.

Fuck... Riku was actually going to do the things Sora dreamt of.

"Riku." Sora was no longer afraid, although it would have been safer to be. Sora let out his best friend's name in a highly vocalized moan, pushing up against Riku once more, begging for that relish he craved. "Riku." He repeated, mind shutting off.

Riku blinked after having moaned once more. Oh god, what was he _doing_!? Riku rose his arms from Sora's shirt and face, trying to

push them apart. Sora was persistent and clung on tightly, afraid to let go. Whenever Riku would try to break the kiss, Sora would connect their mouths once more, arching forward and sending Riku into a whirlwind of shameful pleasure.

"Sora." Riku seethed, trying to turn his head to the side so the other would not be able to kiss him. But Sora found a way, somehow. Sora's arms that were around his neck earlier were now trembling and shyly snaking their way up his shirt. "Sora." Riku growled into the kiss, only coaxing his best friend more.

Okay. Sora was _definitely_ into him...

"Sora!" Riku hissed, biting on Sora's lip, sending Sora to buck once more. For god's sake... Riku took the boy's gasping from this unknown pleasure before now as a chance to escape his addictive kisses and break free of Sora's grasp, his body now a bright red.

And his lips swollen.

"Fucking..." Riku panted, green eyes focusing dully on the boy a few feet away from him who was slowly snapping back into reality.

"

..." Sora opened his eyes that he had forgotten he had closed in the first place and glimpsed over at Riku, heart stopping. This wasn't one of his dreams. He had just done those things with Riku and... and Riku had been trying to stop it for nearly two minutes. Oh no...

Riku had gotten his answer, whether he liked it or not. Sora was far beyond slightly interested in him. Sora_ wanted_ him. And Riku was now completely terrified by that idea. He had never expected Sora, of all people, to swing that way. It was not a bad thing, it was just...

"..." Sora looked away with shame, tears forming in his eyes the moment he realized how stupid he had been acting. Riku probably hated him now. All Riku wanted was a simple kiss for heaven's knows why, and Sora had overreacted.

"Sora." Riku finally dared, noticing a single tear fall from Sora's eyes. Wait... Did Sora _not_ want this and Riku had forced this on him? Was that... the case?

"Please, Riku... don't say anything." Sora whispered, hugging his arms tightly to his chest in fear and uncertainty.

"I won't..." Riku mumbled, afraid to speak of this at all. Had he just molested his best friend and ruined their friendship? Too bad for him that Sora had been thinking the exact same thing.

Too bad were both too proud to admit that they wanted it just as much as the other did, and that they enjoyed it

Five minutes later or so, now with sodas in hand, the pair made their way back silently to Naminé. They had one of those silent and unspoken agreements not to bring up what just happened, both too frightened to explain their reasoning. Riku being ashamed for kissing Sora just because he was curious, and Sora being too terrified to tell Riku that he had wanted that for so long. Both too their seats back on the couch, this time a bit farther apart.

Naminé watched them with curiosity and noted the empty and broken look on both of their faces. What had happened in there? She cleared his throat and began to ramble forth on what they would be going through for the next few weeks, and then months. Riku sighed every once in awhile, listening to her synopsis of the therapy, finding it hard not to stare at Sora.

He was so..- stop there.

He did not like that experimental kiss ... right? Riku's heart fell as he looked at Sora once more, heart relocating itself in his throat.

Riku Karada was not bisexual...

-----

Once the short therapy session had ended, Riku left the house in a flurry, leaving Sora staring at him with confusion. Naminé followed after him, requesting that remained at the house and she would bring Riku back. She told him was natural that people overcoming this type of trauma did things unlike themselves. For some reason, Sora believed her.

But Sora was so scared. Riku had said that he knew he liked him a few days ago … and he kissed him. Nothing made any sense anymore, and needed an answer from Riku sooner or later.

Emotionless green eyes stared up at the sky as he reasoned with himself. He was not bisexual. He just had always been one to enjoy kissing, that was all. It was not like he wanted Sora in bed or something, so he was straight. Yes, he was straight. Riku sighed miserably, the words sounding convincing, but his heart not allowing them to penetrate its walls.

Riku was near the end of his street when he felt a cold and small hand latch out onto his wrist. The teen wheeled around on his feet, being met with aqua ones. Lips twisted into a sigh as he pulled his hand away from Naminé, not amused in the slightest. Arms folded at once to his chest as he stared down the blonde, hatred coursing through his veins.

"What the hell are you doing, Riku?" Naminé demanded, catching her breath, eyes narrowing at the other. A small bead of sweat fell from her brows, her breaths evening out eventually.

"I did what you said," Riku snapped darkly, "And I have no idea if he considered it molestation or not," Riku seethed, fists clenching, "I might have just lost my best friend and it's all your _fault_."

"…" Naminé glanced downward, about to say something in response but was cut short when she heard a rather peppy, but annoyed voice called out. Both blue eyes and green ones turned to the side, noticing a red-headed girl running towards them. Kairi.

"Kairi, this isn't a good time…" Riku began with frustration but was cut off when a hand made a connection with his face, making him wince in pain. "Fuck!" He hissed, his own hand raising to caress where she had smacked him. And they said girls couldn't' smack.

"I hate you." She growled, bawling her fists together at her sides. "You think you're _so_ cool and _so_ good. I can't believe you, Riku!" As he stared at her, he could tell she was holding back tears.

"What did I do?" Riku fumed, nails digging into the soft section of his palm from aggravation.

"What did you _do_?" Kairi hollered, stomping her foot onto the sidewalk with anger. "What _didn't_ you do?!" She demanded, red bangs falling in her eyes, making the fire in them seem a bit less intense.

"Excuse me… but what are you talking about?" Naminé interjected, lips twisting into a frown. It really was not right for someone to jump on Riku's case the week he came back. At least not, like this.

"Stay out of this-" Kairi began but paused when she glanced over at the blonde girl. Blue eyes filled with curiosity, the anger remaining still. "Who are you?" She snapped and then glanced to Riku with rage, jumping to conclusions. "New girlfriend?"

"What?" Riku shouted, completely offended by the accusation. "She's my doctor."

"And that makes it better, Riku? That makes it _worse_!" Kairi snapped, glaring at Riku and Naminé at the same time.

"What are you talking about?!" Naminé demanded, her head spinning in directions as she stared at the red-head. She seemed like a good person deep down, and what ever Riku had done must have sent her over the deep end. Naminé eyed Riku then Kairi, trying to figure out what the problem was.

"About what Riku did to me the other day," She hissed, and it was obvious she was holding back tears. All her frustration and anger was just a way to hide the pain she had went through when Riku had dumped her within a day's time.

"What I… did to you?" Riku arched an eyebrow, heart falling a bit when he saw tears clouding Kairi's eyes.

"Don't play stupid, Riku! The other day when you said you would be my boyfriend then within hours of our date you broke up with me!" Her arms flew in several directions as she turned around, her back facing them. She could not let them see she was about to cry. Kairi never did like to cry, and for someone to see her in that weak of a state, she just didn't want that to happen.

"Riku's been in the hospital …" Naminé replied slowly, looking to him. "He came back yesterday for barely an hour before he had a heart-attack at Sora's door-step…" Naminé trailed off, blinking on confusion.

"Ha. Likely story. Sora even saw you, Riku!" Kairi turned around to stare down the person she had once been deeply infatuated with and idolized. "What you've done to me and Sora, I can't believe it. And now you've got some doctor, which I seriously doubt, lieing for you. You are the lowest creature ever, Riku."

Naminé could not stand it. Her eyes widened with shock and stun before she declared darkly into the stale air between the three, "You have a sick mind to create such disturbing lies, whore." The last word was under her breath.

Riku was a bit surprised to hear Naminé speak up in his defense, but he was still trying to come to grasps with what Kairi had said. What he had done to Kairi and Sora? Was she talking about the overdosing? And when did he say he would date her? He didn't even like her that way.

"I can't take this." With that, Kairi began storming off, only to through over her shoulder, "I can't believe you would do that to Sora."

"…" Riku blinked as he watched her leave in a flurry. "What did I do?..." Kairi could not have known about the kiss already. She just could not. It was too short of a time.

"I don't know." Naminé sighed, rubbing her head with frustration.

"You didn't have to do that," Riku offered, catching his breath from the argument. "Besides, I wasn't expecting that." Riku whispered, in regards to Naminé's words and outburst.

"Eh." She shrugged and turned her back to head back to the house, blonde bangs falling in her face.

"Naminé." Riku called after her, catching up to the blonde and walking alongside her back to his house. "Are you ever going to tell me what made you hate people so much?" He really wasn't expecting an answer.

"What? It's all right for you to hate life and not me?" She whispered, blue eyes glancing over at Riku weakly.

"…" Riku sighed, "I just never really had any close friends beside Kairi and Sora, and now I've lost Kairi for something stupid and what ever the hell happened, and I just never had that great of a life. But why do you? You're already an intern, you're beautiful, why are you so… shallow?" Jade hues stared at her.

A meek smile crossed Naminé's face as she turned her head to stare at Riku, being so numb inside. "Yours is an excuse not a reason, being raped is." And she hurried her pace, leaving Riku standing there in confusion.

"She was … raped?..."

---

When Riku did make his way back to the house, Naminé was nowhere to be found. Riku suspected that she must have gone home, and didn't harp on the situation. He would have never suspected for Naminé to have been raped. The question on who was the rapist kept flashing in Riku's mind. Naminé had always seemed like the smiling, good-hearted, and kind person, and when she had acted cold and shallow, emotionless, Riku knew something was off. It was amazing how perceptive a person could be. But for her to have been raped? It all made sense, and at the same time made none. It was a delicate balance of understanding.

Riku sighed as he entered his house, closing the door with a gentle thud. He made his way silently into the living room, surprised to see Sora still there. Eyebrows arched curiously at the slumbering brunette on the couch. A delicate smile, for really the first time that day, crossed Riku's face.

As quietly as he could, he walked over to the couch, extending a hand to run it through Sora's hair. He blinked, realizing that what he was doing really wasn't necessary or appropriate, and withdrew his hand. An exasperated sigh escaped Riku's lips as he sat on the cough beside Sora, watching him sleep.

"I'm sorry … I really am." He murmured, knowing that Sora could not hear him. "I had no right doing that to you … I'm sorry, Sora." He never was good at apologizes, and even if the other was sleeping, it was still hard.

Sora had always been his best friend … and just realizing that he had kissed the boy made his heart ache. If it had been a simple kiss maybe he would have felt better, but they had not just kissed. They had made out. Hard core. Riku winced at the memory, and at the reaction he had gotten.

"Fuck…" He murmured, reaching upward to rub his temples. "Why did I have to do that…"

"Riku?" Sora whispered softly into the air, blue eyes opening slowly. "Where… did you go?" The brunette yawned a bit, nuzzling his head into the pillow on the couch, glancing up at Riku who was sitting beside him.

"… Just went for a walk," Riku answered with a shrug before staring down at the brunette. "You look uncomfortable…"

"Eh… a bit." Sora answered, eyes shutting. Riku sighed, once again, and reached his arms outward to hoist Sora's body upward and over so that the other was leaning against his shoulder instead. Sora opened his eyes, heart racing incredibly fast. "…Riku?"

"Listen, Sora. I'm sorry." He finally got out, not being able to stand the unearthly silence and tension in the air.

"Eh?" Sora blinked, gazing up at the sea green eyes he was obsessed with. "You're sorry?... I should be the one sorry…" Sora trailed off delicately, his fingers lacing together nervously.

"What?" Riku was genuinely surprised.

"I shouldn't have kissed you back … I'm not your type after all…" He whispered, glancing downward, ashamed.

Riku's heart dropped fast. He was expecting Sora to say something else, but the 'not your type' sent his mind off in a hundred directions. Did he mean gender-wise? Or did Sora actually have interests in him? Riku gulped, eyes averting from the floor to Sora.

"What do you mean…" Riku dared, his heart beating erratically fast.

"I'm too innocent." Sora repeated the words Riku had given him days before, "So I tried something different, and all I got was you calling me a gay hooker," Sora mumbled, raising his gaze to meet Riku's, "So what will it take for you to like me back?"

"Like you … back?" His mind instantly shut off. And his mind wasn't the only thing being effected by the shock. Something was wrong, incredibly wrong. His eyes closed from a sharp and searing pain tearing his mind in half. It hurt so badly, and it felt like it was everywhere. Riku clutched his chest, exhaling sharply in a moan of despair.

"R-r-iku?" Sora dared, having been only seconds from kissing the other once more. Blue eye stared in confusion at him, watching Riku desperately point across the room to a bag that Namine had brought. Sora scampered to his feet, making his way quickly to the bag and taking it back to Riku. Inside was a few needles, making Sora's heart dropped.

"What do I do?" Sora whispered desperately, heart breaking from seeing Riku suffer.

"My arm," Riku hissed through the pain, eyes flashing at the other. Sora weakly nodded and closed his eyes as he stabbed the silver needle into the exposed part of Riku's arm, receiving an exhale from his friend.

The needle fell to the ground as Sora sat there, in complete petrifaction.

"T-thanks…" Riku stammered out, catching his breath slowly, allowing green eyes to open once more and glance at Sora.

"What happened?" Sora was on the verge of tears. Twice. Twice he had seen Riku almost die. It was driving the brunette insane to see his friend and object of his utmost desires in such pain.

"Some side-effect to the claimed over-dosing. Naminé said I might go through that and that I would need a shot of that stuff to get my heart pumping right again." Riku explained, eyes slowly clearing from the clouds of pain.

"Riku…" Sora whispered, suddenly leaning his spiky head into the crone of Riku's neck, "I'm so afraid that you're going to die," Sora choked on his words, arms extending outward as he held Riku close to him, virtually in his lap.

"I'm not going to die. I'm too tough for that," Riku assured the other with a nonchalant smirk, only for Sora to nuzzle his face in further.

"I just can't lose you." He whispered, wishing that somehow he and Riku were together.

"You won't. Promise." Riku assured Sora before the brunette reluctantly broke off the hug and made his way back to his spot on the couch. Silence rang through the pair as Riku continued to catch his breath. "Want to watch some tv for a bit before you go home?..."

"Yeah." Sora answered, uncertain if Riku was just ignoring the fact that Sora was madly in love with him, or if he just did not get it. Sora would not ask. Not knowing was the only thing keeping him from breaking apart. Rejection was a hard thing to deal with. "Please…. Just never leave me." A whisper that was inaudible.

---

It was seven before Sora left the house, his mind spinning in circles. He was too afraid to ask Riku about the past days, his party, and so on. All he wanted was to know if Riku shared his affections. But he knew, somehow, that Riku didn't. Riku was straight, popular, and gorgeous. Riku had no time for bashful, ugly brown-haired boys like Sora. Sora sighed, hands falling weakly to his sides as he walked onward, trying his best to think positive. If Riku and him remained best friends, he could still be close to him. Maybe not as close as he wanted to be, but close enough. And perhaps he could learn to live with that.

Sora exited Riku's driveway and began walking silently down the street to his own house. He couldn't help but feel a bit of envy for that blonde-haired doctor that had been at Riku's rehab. She seemed to be in tune with Riku, and it made Sora's heart bleed. If Riku was straight, he would surely fall for her. She was beautiful, smart, and everything Sora wished he could be in Riku's eyes. Riku paid attention to her, and she had a way about her that allured the other. Sora could never do that… and he knew it.

"Maybe I should just give up." Sora murmured in despair, blue eyes closing with frustration. "Riku would be happier that way."

"I doubt that."

Sora glanced to the side into the darkness of the night. Someone had spoken, and he wasn't sure who it was. It was a dark and seducing voice that made Sora tremble. His blue eyes searched the night, trying to find the owner of the voice in the shadows of the house on the left.

"What?" Sora dared, body beginning to shiver as he stood there.

"Riku needs someone to want him. He enjoys having someone love him and not have to return the feelings. He would rather have you as a sextoy then a boyfriend. Seeing he doesn't swing that way."

The words made Sora tremble as he backed away from the house slowly. Whoever was speaking didn't sound like they liked either of them that much. Sora shivered, hugging his arms tightly to his chest.

"I…" Sora began but continued to walk away from the house quickly, only for an arm to stop him and pull him into the shadows. A muffled scream came from Sora as a silencing and cold pair of lips met his, making him feel dizzy and numb, and disgusted. He only wanted Riku. He knew that. And this person was not Riku … and this kiss felt intoxicating and dark.

Sora tried to break away, hands scraping at the other's chest, only for the other to violently shove his tongue into his mouth. Sora gasped in surprise, continuing to try and scramble away. Riku would save him. Riku always saved him. But when Riku never came, Sora felt helpless, hopeless.

"Lemme go." Sora managed as the stranger broke the kiss for two seconds, only to start another. He tried kicking the other, to knock him off balance and flee, but his body was currently crushed against a wall with the other pressed firmly against him, stopping any movements.

A hand had began to dip down the seam of Sora's pants, making the other holler in protest, only for that holler to be quieted into the mouth of the other. The more Sora squirmed, the weaker he felt and the more he spurred on the attacker. Tears began to form in Sora's eyes as he tried to bite the other to get him to go away. Eventually, he had managed to work his knee free, jabbing the other quickly in an upward thrust, sending the other crouching in pain.

Sora was terrified, mortified, and all he could do was gasp and run, tripping as he went. He got back quickly to his feet and continued to run, heart beating faster then ever. He needed to get back home. He could hear the other chasing him. Where was Riku…

Somehow, due to some miracle, Sora had managed to his house, grab his key from his jacket, push it into the lock, open the door, and escape inside. He slammed the door shut, locking it at the same time. Blue eyes shut as he slumped his body against the safety of the door. He was alive … but completely terrified and frightened.

Nothing would ever be the same, would it?


End file.
